"I'M BORED..."
I don't remember being bored as often when I was a child as children are nowadays.
And fostered children seems to get bored even more quickly than our own children.
A real-life Downton Abbey-type Lord of the Manor once said "The average scullery maid now expects more excitement in a weekend than her grandmother expected in her entire lifetime."
So maybe this increasing need for...
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
"Innocent Parent" left a long and heartfelt comment about the post below this one, with a few digs at Foster Carers and the system in general.
The thing I took from the comment was a moment to think what it would be like to have your own children taken away.
I've had Social Workers tell me that, shockingly, some parents are, on balance, glad to see the back of them. I imagine that if you...
Thursday, December 06, 2012
CONTACT - WHAT DO WE THINK?
This comment was added today by a new reader:
"I have just discovered your blog and am so pleased. I have thought about doing it myself but with 3 kids all very young in placement plus my own teenager the time is never there! I have tried really hard to get contact stopped for my little ones as the family brutally abused in every way and the psychological trauma is reawakened...
Sunday, December 02, 2012
You know how you always think of the perfect put-down about 5 minutes too late?
Well, today, for about the first time in my life, it came out right away, and it was a great feeling.
It all started a week ago. Driving home on the school run I was waiting to pull out onto a busy roundabout, the car behind hooted. You just don't take any chances with looked-afters in the car. I waved sweetly at the...
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Fostering. My partner was asked today; "Why on earth do you do it?"
Partner attended a Christmas card "party" that somebody they worked with threw. You know, you buy some charity cards and you've done a bit for the world.
Don't get me wrong, bully for people who raise money for charities, better than doing nothing.
But when the fact that we fostered came up with one lady she was incredulous; "Why...
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Lying and foster caring.
How can you not lie sometimes?
One of the regular bits of advice from the professionals is to be truthful with looked-after children.
And yes, if they ask "When am I going home?" you start on a lengthy, truthful, explanation:
(1)"It depends on the next review of your parents, and by "review" I mean that the people who are helping them sort out their problems...
Thursday, November 22, 2012
People always ask you, when you bump into them, "How are you?". Sometimes you reply "Fine thanks" or "Alright thanks".
Since I started fostering I often reply, "Pleasantly tired, thanks."
It's a phrase I used before I fostered when I'd had an afternoon in the garden or a day painting the spare room. I'd put in a slog, I'm flat out on the sofa, and it felt good; stuff had got...
Saturday, November 17, 2012
They say that one of the drawbacks about the prison system is that prisoners find out from other prisoners about new ways of behaving anti-socially.
The same thing can crop up, on a much smaller scale, in fostering.
We had a foster child, been with us about six months, aged 6, I'll use the name "A" for anonymous. The poor child had had such a terrible life. Knew it too, and was...
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
I LOVE THE SCHOOL RUN.
Well it's not perfect. Getting them into the car on time is a trial. I usually start saying "It's time to go" about ten minutes before it's time to go. I keep the kitchen clock, the one we all use, about 7 minutes fast.
I do an independence check before we set off. What I mean is, children can get dependent on us for basics, and because it's easier for us to check...
Saturday, November 03, 2012
This comment came in after my last post
"Thank you for those comments all of which are true. I held on to the placement eleven months after the assault, and the accusations of me attempting to throttle them, the permanent exclusions from school for violence, etc etc etc. I had intended to keep the child until 18, but it became unsafe for me to do it - child is no longer in a family placement but...
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Aaaaghhh here comes Christmas.
This is a hard quarter of the year for carers, and looked-after children; starts with Halloween.
Then it's fireworks, then Christmas. These events are big for our children, and for us. They are about the three pinnacle home events in the child's calendar (excepting their birthday), squeezed into 7 weeks.
For them, each evokes memories of what happened...
Sunday, October 28, 2012
You just want to give this carer, who commented after the last post about us carers getting too sensitive, a hug.
She (I'm guessing it's a "she", forgive me if you are a "he") commented:
"Oh how true this is. I especially felt it when a placement broke down due to increasing violence against me. I was made to feel inadequate and told the child would be placed with perfect foster carers (I am a single...