Fostering. My partner was asked today; "Why on earth do you do it?" Partner attended a Christmas card "party" that somebody they worked with threw. You know, you buy some charity cards and you've done a bit for the world. Don't get me wrong, bully for people who raise money for charities, better than doing nothing. But when the fact that we fostered came up with one lady she was incredulous; "Why...

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Lying and foster caring. How can you not lie sometimes?  One of the regular bits of advice from the professionals is to be truthful with looked-after children.  And yes, if they ask "When am I going home?" you start on a lengthy, truthful, explanation: (1)"It depends on the next review of your parents, and by "review" I mean that the people who are helping them sort out their problems...

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People always ask you, when you bump into them,  "How are you?". Sometimes you reply "Fine thanks" or "Alright thanks". Since I started fostering I often reply, "Pleasantly tired, thanks."  It's a phrase I used before I fostered when I'd  had an afternoon in the garden or a day painting the spare room. I'd put in a slog, I'm flat out on the sofa, and it felt good; stuff had got...

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They say that  one of the drawbacks about the prison system is that prisoners find out from other prisoners about new ways of behaving anti-socially. The same thing can crop up, on a much smaller scale, in fostering. We had a foster child, been with us about six months, aged 6, I'll use the name "A" for anonymous.  The poor child had had such a terrible life. Knew it too, and was...

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CAN YOU IDENTIFY ANY OF THESE CHILDREN FROM THEIR "REFERRAL" CASE NOTES? I found them on an American website and tweaked a bit. Makes you wonder to what extent Attachment disorders and other conditions were known and understood by story-tellers way before psychologists came along. Answers at the...

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I LOVE THE SCHOOL RUN. Well it's not perfect. Getting them into the car on time is a trial. I usually start saying "It's time to go" about ten minutes before it's time to go. I keep the kitchen clock, the one we all use, about 7 minutes fast. I do an independence check before we set off. What I mean is, children can get dependent on us for basics, and because it's easier for us to check...

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This comment came in after my last post "Thank you for those comments all of which are true. I held on to the placement eleven months after the assault, and the accusations of me attempting to throttle them, the permanent exclusions from school for violence, etc etc etc. I had intended to keep the child until 18, but it became unsafe for me to do it - child is no longer in a family placement but...

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