In the last post I was going on about what Christmas is like in fostering.
One thing I deliberately didn't mention was our new arrival; Romeo. It's been his first Christmas with us, he only arrived a couple of weeks ago.
He's settling in. That is to say he knows where everything is, our basic routines and a bit about what each of us are like as people.
We are getting to know him, and matching the...
Monday, December 28, 2015
Monday, December 14, 2015
CHRISTMAS 2015 AND FOSTERING
Christmas and fostering.
We could be here all day on this one.
The more Christmases I foster the more hard work it becomes because you learn stuff and build it in next year and end up with a bunch of practices the size of Encyclopaedia Brittanica.
And there's absolutely no guarantee it makes much difference; but you try, you try. Every year it throws up the same mystery for me and I suspect many...
Wednesday, December 09, 2015
GETTING TO KNOW THEM
Romeo is settling in well, has slept through the night since the first night hiccup. We keep seeing little flashes of life in his previous home coming out in his behaviour. I heard him say to the dog when no-one was around;
"Listen mister. You do exactly what I say when I say. Or else. And you know what 'Or else' means".
Chilling.
When you get a new arrival there are quite a few practical things...
Monday, December 07, 2015
NEW ARRIVAL AND THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
A new foster child has arrived, and knocks on our bedroom door at 1.45am first night.
First night is always huge in fostering for all parties.
The child is pretty much an unknown quantity; you have their notes plus titbits of information their social worker can offload, but there's a lot to learn.
Of course, from the child's point of view their foster parents are an unknown quantity too....
Tuesday, December 01, 2015
SETTLING IN
New arrivals (Romeo arrived yesterday, see "HE'S ARRIVED") are very quiet at their first teatime up at the table.
Not surprising, must be scary.
I have a thing where I don't load their plates for them, especially if it's a new child. I lay empty plates and put the food in the middle for them to help themselves. Having control over what's on your plate is a relief for looked-after children;...
Friday, November 27, 2015
HE'S ARRIVED
So.
He's arrived, our latest placement.
I don't like calling him a 'placement'; he's a little boy.
It never ceases to amaze me the difference between what you expect from the information you're given in advance and the child who turns up.
I'm not saying the information is skewed or anything, it's hard to sum up a human being in a few pages of notes. Especially a troubled person.
He arrived at...
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
WHEN YOU'VE A SPARE BED
We've had an interesting time last couple of weeks, like you do in fostering when you've got a spare bed.
The phone rings from time to time and it's the $64,000 dollar question;
"Would you be willing to take a child who...?"
Our policy is to say yes always, unless there's a really pressing reason not to, as happened once, which I may have touched on before; the child in question was on a charge...
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
HOW MANY IS A GOOGLE?
This week of focus on bullying has really got me thinking.
Am I ever guilty?
And if I am, is it justified by the ends?
I'm sitting at the kitchen table, big mug of tea, the sun's not up, everyone is asleep. Good time to think.
I'LL COUNT TO TEN
Suppose a foster child crosses a line; calls me an unacceptable word.
I know his past, I know why he gets angry. I know the harm that's been done...
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
FOSTERING AND BULLYING
It's 'Anti-Bullying Week' 16th - 20th November.
Usually these 'raising awareness' exercises pass me by I'm afraid; if you're a foster parent your awareness of the specific needs of your looked-after children is so acute you've less time for national campaigns than ordinary folk.
But bullying is different. It's huge, it's everywhere.
It's a global epidemic. It's bubonic.
It's ruining zillions...
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
PERCEPTIONS
How can foster children overcome the shocks they've been subjected to?
If you see your parents at each others throats and get a dread of raised voices how can you watch Eastenders without your gut wrenching?
...