When you foster you get good support with the big things in fostering.
The training sessions set you up with advice on keeping your diary/records and how to keep children safe on the internet.
There are lots of little details which are so tiny that you don't even talk to your social worker about them, but there are so many of them that if you add them all together they amount to a big part...
Monday, March 30, 2015
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
TWO VIEWS, WHICH ARE YOU?
There are two ways to look at fostering.
One.
It's just like ordinary parenting except you have people looking over your shoulder all the time checking up on you.
Two.
It's just like ordinary parenting except you have loads of people helping you with everything.
I'd be a liar if I pretended there haven't been one or two moments when I've felt I was being checked up on. Why? Well partially because...
Saturday, March 21, 2015
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
If you get a chance to have a look at a couple of comments on the "WHEN AM I GOING HOME' post you'll see why the business of personal responsibility has been in my mind for a couple of days.
It coincides with a TV documentary by Louis Theroux about a detention centre in the USA for people who are deemed 'NGRI'.
NGRI stands for "Not Guilty for Reasons of Insanity".
There are people locked...
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
SP**ERS (I'M EVEN PHOBIC ABOUT THE WORD)
Sleeping is a big problem for most foster children.
Come to think of it, it's a problem for most children.
It's not a new thing either, I can remember lying in bed, landing light on, my bedroom door half open to allow a bit of light. Wide awake, mind alert, listening to all the little noises from downstairs.
Getting afraid of patterns on the wallpaper, shapes and shadows. My mind working overtime.
I...
Friday, March 13, 2015
'WHEN AM I GOING HOME?'
If there's one question that tugs my heart all over the place every time it's when a foster child begs 'When am I going home?'
I remember the first time we were asked, it knocked us for six.
It was our first ever placement, a boy who came for a weekend. His regular foster parents had requested a weekend off. These respite breaks are built in at Blue Sky, they are pre-prepared to give foster...
Sunday, March 08, 2015
WHO ARE THESE 'FOSTER PARENT' PEOPLE?
I think there's massive confusion in a foster child's mind about what a foster carer is, especially during the early days.
It's usual for the child to be taken into care after social workers have completed an exhaustive examination of the facts about the family situation. That assessment might be over a long period of time or a short one. The decision to intervene is always agonising for them,...
Wednesday, March 04, 2015
THAT DRESS
That previous 'Mommy Dearest' post and a reader's comment got me thinking about the many poignant times I've had so far in fostering.
This one is up there. The hoo-hah about the blue/white dress reminded me.
We had a lovely girl come to stay, call her Tamsin, very much on the big size. I would say about 18 stone, and when someone is 3 stone heavier than their age there's a problem alright.
Actually...
Sunday, March 01, 2015
MOMMY DEAREST
One of the big things foster children have to struggle with is that when they come to you they sometimes quickly see what they've been missing.
Not always, no sir. Often they are so beat up by everything they can't see straight. Anyway, it's not part of our job to make them compare their new home with the old.
It's a universal truth that children think that whatever life is like for them is how...