My mum died yesterday.
It was eighteen months coming, so no surprise, but obviously it still aches.
I got a call from the Care Home at 2.50am, peacefully, in her sleep.
I waited until dawn and started telephoning relatives. I was still in my dressing gown at the kitchen table when looked-after child A suddenly appeared. Just as I was saying to a cousin into the phone; "Sad news I'm afraid, mum...
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Monday, April 25, 2016
FOSTER CHILDREN'S FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS
Most children have lots of ups and downs with friendships, adults less so.
Children change schools and classes, maybe move to new neighbourhoods, lots of transitions.
One of the things that happens to us when adulthood finally arrives is that we know who we like and who likes us. We know why, instinctively. As grown-ups we don't waste so much time experimenting with different sorts. We experience...
Monday, April 18, 2016
TIME FLIES
What's the time right now? The time on your device while you're reading these words?
Thanks for doing so, by the way.
But. Without looking, what's the time?
About ten to something? Coming up to half past?
I ask because I've noticed that timekeeping is an issue for looked-after children.
I bet you were within 5 minutes of the time of day, maybe even closer.
People who are brought up in relatively...
Thursday, April 14, 2016
OVERTHINKING AND FOSTERING
I sometimes tell myself off for thinking too much about fostering.
It's a time consuming vocation, there's always something to be done whether it's sort out school clothes or remember not to get cheese and onion crisps or coming up with a trick to get more of the apple eaten than three token bites.
It consumes our minds though, as much as our time.
It's often the first thought I have on waking,...
Monday, April 11, 2016
THE IMPACT OF FOSTERING ON OUR OWN CHILDREN
The post "WHO FOSTERS" received a comment from a young mum (I assume young, she said her children are 4 and 11). The post was signed "Ari" - and by the way I'm also assuming Ari is a mum, but there's no reason why not a dad, it would be old-fashioned to conclude a gentle caring soul is most likely a woman.
Anyhoo I'll go with Ari being a young mum just to save myself from writing she/he...
Friday, April 08, 2016
THE NOW NOT-SO-NEW ARRIVAL
Romeo has been with a few months now. Quick update.
He's becoming part of the family, except for a very large part of him that isn't and probably never will be, namely the part of him that is his real family.
Getting this balance is one of the big features of fostering, I find.
With your own children it doesn't exist. They are yours, nobody else's. They spend a weekend with grandparents or friends...
Monday, April 04, 2016
WHO FOSTERS?
From time to time I meet with people who are thinking about fostering.
Blue Sky arranges get togethers for couples and singles who are prowling around fostering, it's a big step, and a good one if it's the right one for you.
They sometimes invite some of their carers to mingle with the prospectives, they tell us to tell it like it is.
When I started fostering I got something wrong about...