Sunday, February 22, 2026

FOSTERING GETS WITH IT

 Fostering is about to get a shot in the arm.

The government are preparing to upgrade fostering. 

BTW I'm not sure whether the changes will affect fostering in Scotland and Northern Ireland as my (limited) understanding is that fostering is what's called a devolved issue, meaning that those territories can introduce their own legislation.

My gut is that the proposals will sweep in across the board because fostering needs help and support from Land's End to John O'Groats.

In a nutshell, and I suspect, dear reader, that you know this already, but let's start at the beginning - there aren't enough foster folk. Worse, the numbers of folk who foster are reportedly falling, while the numbers of children who need foster homes is rising.

It's apparently more than a human crisis; it's an economic one too.

The human crisis is obvious. There are literally tens of thousands of children whose 'real' homes are simply no-go areas for them. Social workers battle round the clock to find safe havens for them. They might start by investigating close relatives of the child or children; it can be the best solution. But it's usually impossible. They search their books for approved foster carers who have a vacancy and a match between the child and the foster parents. If they draw a blank the only alternative is to place the child into one of the growing number of residential care homes that are springing up. 

The human crisis is this. That huge numbers of children from broken homes are not getting the family life they require, deserve and want. The government is aware that the early-life experiences of these children could cause them serious problems in the future. Not to mention problems for the people they have around them as they go through life.

The economic crisis is also very real. The increasing numbers of residential care homes for children is becoming a huge burden on the country's coffers.

an example.

Do you mind if I caution that the example I have for you is not proven to be the case, so it might be off the mark. But I heard it from a reliable source, namely a foster carer I know, respect and trust.

But if the following is horse manure, remember I'm not Panorama.

So; a foster carer gets a call asking if they would consider taking a parent and baby. The mother and father are teenagers. Social workers are of the view that the mother and father should continue to live separately so the mother can concentrate on her newborn. The foster mum accepts. The case goes to court for a decision.

The judge is a person whose crusade is to 'keep families together". Since the fostering agencies and the local authority are unable to find a foster home that can take both teenagers and the newborn, the judge rules that the threesome should be found residential accomodation where they can be together.

I could go on about the flaws in the alleged judgement, but won't, because I pass this on to illustrate the extent of the possible economic crisis which is becoming a threat.

Here we go;

And remember, the numbers I'm quoting are a) ball park and b) not confirmed.

But I believe they're close to the mark:

The cost to the nation of fostering (in a conventional domestic foster home), a teenager for a year = approx £20-30,000.

The cost of same in a residential care home = up to £300,000 per year.

Right, I just need a cop-out for myself. These numbers were quoted to me by a wonderful foster carer, but that doesn't mean they are correct or representative.

My gut is they're likely to be not far off.

So.

The government is on a recruitment drive for new foster carers. It's rumoured they plan making it easier to foster, possibly even providing grants to help familes pay to have an extra bedroom built.

And more.

The propsals will be published anytime soon.

Anyone interested in fostering should get ready to rumble.




Friday, February 13, 2026

THE HEROISM OF THE FOSTER CHILD

 Our eldest foster child - who's transitioning - is definitely my new hero.

Actually, just about every child we've fostered has been my hero. Jeez, the stuff they've survived is beyond what their foster carers can process.

So, our kid is doing their thing and bothering nobody.

Children in care are desperately deprived of almost everything; mainly their real home and family. They might also have been removed to a place where it's difficult or impossible to see their friends. They might even be relocated a new school which brings the hardship of starting all over again with teachers and pupils. All they own is the things they bring with them, clothes and other familiars. They live the ultimate life in a suitcase.

Being young they put up with it.

If they rebel against anything it's something other than the vacuum that's become their new life.

Imagine that you're a young person who has discovered they have been wriongly assigned a gender. It means they are trying to shed themselves even of the person they used to be.

Our eldest foster child is taking all this in their stride.

The child is outwardly cheerful, charming and helpful around the house.

And guess what? The child is now assisting me with the other two foster kids we have in our complicated home.

Middle child is less happy than they might be. A couple of days ago I needed to suggest they go to their room to calm down and when they felt better could come down for a treat.

That's how I try to de-escalate. Sometimes it works. I really needed to go up with the child and have a chat, but dinner was half-underway and the washine machine was coming to a climax. I was up to my neck.

When the dust settled I noticed that middle child was still upstairs but there was also no sign of eldest.

I drained a saucepan of spaghetti and heard people coming downstairs. It was eldest and middle. Middle had sorted themselves out and looked at peace.

Eldest said; "We're all fine now. we're sorry about the wobbly. Okay if we have that ice cream cornet after dinner? We both fancy a mint and chocolate sprinkles one."

Deal.

Later on, in a quiet moment, I asked eldest what he'd said to middle that took away his upset.

He replied that he didn't say much, just listened. Middle needed to have a rant. It's possible the rant included that I'm unreasonable and poke my nose in everywhere. 

Harsh, but fostering folk can handle being the bad guy from time to time.

Eldest didn't do details, he implied it was between him and middle child.

Fine by me, fine by them, fine by God and the universe.

Middle enjoyed the spag boll, then onto his cornet.

Eldest enjoyed his food to, and his treat.

I now feel there are more than 2 foster carers in the house, there are 2 and a half.

And what a half!

My new hero.


Sunday, February 08, 2026

TURN OF THE SCREW

 Attended a Blue Sky training session last Saturday morning.

First Aid.

It was scheduled for a Saturday to fit some people's work commitments. Folk came from far and wide.

Always fascinating to meet other fostering folk you've never met before.

It was a beautiful mixed bag. Fostering takes all sorts; younger and older. One attendee was a smart woman, probably mid-fifties who hadn't even started fostering but was on her way.

ps I mention her age and that she was female only to underline that it's never too late to foster.

First Aid is a particukarly important one. Blue Sky arrange for their fostering folk to undertake a session once every 3 years (as I understand it).

Half of it's done online in advance. You go through the info on your laptop with a coffee at your elbow. 

The session  saw about a dozen of us in a room at one of Blue Sky's HQs, and it was great to see a member of their managment and one of their social workers there to take their own training.

Our instructor was a firefighter by trade, who undertook his responsibility to us with great seriousness, but we had a few laughs along the way.

Much of the session was devoted to CPR, the procedure to re-start a stopped heart.

Everyone had a go at heart massige using one of three dummies he provided.

Then we had a go with a defibrillator. It's an amazing machine. A robot voice inside it tells you what to do as you go along. The machines are increasingly available in high streets and communities, and although they're idiot-proof it's useful to have experience of rigging one onto someone's chest and pressing the button.

During a coffee break I had a natter with a Blue Sky manager who was doing the training alongside us carers. A really amazing bloke. Turned out he'd started life working with children in care homes before wanting a change of scene so he joined…

…the prison service! 

Remember "Porridge"? A UK sit-com about life in prison starring the one and only Ronnie Barker as a repeat offender, Norman Fletcher. My new Blue Sky chum was what Fletcher referred to as a "screw"!

This lovely bloke couldn't stop trying to help people make the best of their lives. 

He told me that one day, on the landing in his prison, a particularly large and serious looking inmate came up to him:

"I been after havin' a word wiv you," the prisoner said looking down from his full six foot four.

"Oh" replied our man.

"Yur. Only I fink I remember you."

"…oh…"

"Yur. When I was little I was put in a home. An' you was one of our carers."

"..oh.."

"Yeh. I jes wanted to shake your 'and. You was an alright geezer."

The exchange contributed to our man wanting to get back to helping children, which is the ethos that arcs over Blue Sky's place in the world. So he joined Blue Sky.

The morning took 2 hours.

The training session was 10/10.

The people experience 11/10.