Thursday, September 17, 2015


Came downstairs this morning about two minutes before 7.00am.

Have to fill the kettle, sometimes you can tell by the weight if it's got enough for two cups, not this morning. Take it to sink to fill up, notice the sink has stuff in it, take the kettle back to where it sits and switch it on. Back to the sink and pick up the two mugs and cereal bowl to put them in the dishwasher. It's full. Bend down into the cupboard under the sink to get a dishwasher tablet, struggle to open the plastic envelope, end up using teeth.

The dishwasher controls are temperamental; I want 'P2' but I've been told by other half you sometimes have to turn it off and on again first. Get it going 3rd time lucky. Go back to sink and rinse the mugs and bowl by hand and rest them upside down on the draining board next to half a dozen other mugs and several assorted bits of cutlery and utensils and an empty water bottle which has been rejected by child because it's not cool but I'll find a home for it in one of the cupboards in case it comes in handy which it won't but it cost £4.99 so you can't just chuck it away after one use.

There's only one clean mug hanging up and it's not very clean; it's got those burnt-on crusty bits you get from a dishwasher run where the filter needs emptying, so I dry two from the draining board, get out two tea bags and drop them in the mugs. Go to the fridge and get out a litre bottle of semi-skimmed milk with about three quarters of an inch of milk in the bottom. Family prefer to leave a smidgeon in the bottom of containers and put them back in the fridge as that's easier than rinsing them out and putting them in the recycling wheelie bin. Unscrew the green cap and sniff it; smells okay. 

7.01am and 30 seconds
Kettle has boiled; cover both bags with boiling water, then grab J cloth from the sink to wipe surfaces as there are crumbs. Crumbs and smears. There are also crumbs and other small bits on the floor which I only notice because I'm in bare feet; it's been six months since my slippers gave up the ghost and I haven't had time to replace them. 

Fetch the broom from the side of the fridge and sweep; starting beside the fridge going across to the table, round to the sink unit and end up with a small heap of bits. Put the broom back and bend down into the cupboard under the sink to pick up the dustpan and brush and sweep the bits into it and put into the pedal bin. 

7.02am and 45 seconds
The pedal bin is full, well about three inches from the top; room for a bit more. But. Big but this; family prefer to push stuff down and get more in rather than replace the bin liner. I am the only one who replaces the bin liner. 

Try to lift the plastic bag out of the bin; it's stuck. It rips. Go to kitchen drawer, get out a roll of bin liners, tear one off and put the roll back. Open the new liner and put it upside down over the bin then turn the bin upside down and shake the rubbish and the torn bin liner into the second bag. Several bits of rubbish including a burst cherry tomato and some tea leaves spill onto the floor. Remind self not to make a pot of tea with loose leaf tea at next LAC (Looked After Child) meeting at our house as although it's nice it's a nuisance.

Tie up the bag and unlock the kitchen door, carry bag across cold path to wheelie bin and lob it in. Bare feet collect all sorts of bits which then come in with me onto the kitchen floor. 

Squeeze tea bags out over mugs. Get to them too late; the tea has the scummy film you get when you let them soak too long. Leave tea bags on the work surface as I haven't put the bin back together yet with a fresh bin liner. Re-assemble pedal bin with new liner, drop tea bags into it. Wipe surface.

Pour milk into mugs. Get out honey which other half has in first cup of tea now we've given up sugar.
Use same spoon as used on tea bags for spoonful of honey. Jar is sticky, lick fingers.

Brush bits off soles of feet with my hands while  standing above the cherry tomato and tea leaves, bend down into cupboard under the sink and get dustpan and brush, sweep up area around pedal bin and tip sweepings into pedal bin. Return dustpan and brush to cupboard under the sink. Check the teacup we put under the U bend a couple of days ago to see if it has any water in it as we suspect the U bend has a leak. Can't really tell, might have collected some drips then the drips evaporated; decide to leave teacup there. It'll probably still be there at Christmas.

Pick up dog's bowl from down beside the washing machine, it's got some nasty bits that have dried round the edges. Run a tap onto it and wipe bits off with fingers going "Eeuu!" quietly, to myself. Fetch tin of Pedigree (In jelly) off the top of the fridge, yank ringpull, gag faintly at smell. Use the dog's fork to prise half the tin into the bowl. Dog comes for breakfast on sound of ringpull. Never know whether to break up dog food or leave it in a cylinder shape in the bowl. Run dog's fork under tap. Put plastic temporary lid on half empty tin of dog food and put it on top of the fridge, with the dog's fork balanced on top, away from human cutlery. Put dog's bowl down.
Sniff hands. Don't smell of dog food.

Go upstairs, take other half tea in bed. 
Say; "I think it's drinkable straight away"
Glug mine down.

In two minutes I wake up the house. 

The fostering begins.


  1. I am actually laughing out loud at this one, its so true. Not just for foster moms, but for all mothers I think!

    You missed checking the washing machine and setting the spin again so the content will be that bit quicker to dry when you get it out later, but you avoided tripping on a discarded shoe/toy as you went upstairs so well done!


    1. You're right Mooglet, it's what life is isn't it? It's like I once heard Eric Morecambe say; "Life isn't Hollywood life is Cricklewood". As for stepping on discarded toys; do the makers of Lego have any idea how much a single brick hurts bare feet?

  2. Don't worry about "scummy film" - stewed tea has more antioxidants :)

    1. In which case I've got antioxidants comng out of my ears...

  3. You make me laugh, Ella makes me laugh, Alice and Nicola (now 3!) make me laugh. Most of all our husbands make us laugh when they think the freezer mysteriously refills itself.