I went to a very interesting Blue Sky training session a while back.
It was about the role of the dad in fostering.
When you show up at the average training session or support group meeting, the ratio is usually about three quarters women, but for this one they specifically invited the men in the fostering house (assuming there is one, it's no way mandatory to have a partner).
We fixed a baby-sitter...
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
NOBODY EVER SUFFERED TOO MUCH LOVE
"Learned Helplessness" is an interesting one.
It used to be something which children developed if the parents didn't nurture independence. Children who leave home and don't know that you need to bleach a toilet or that fried bread needs oil or butter in the pan or it ends up toast (me, both).
Nowadays it's widespread.
I heard that a recently retired international footballer had to phone his wife...
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
NEW CHILD UPDATE
Romeo has been with us six weeks.
Certain patterns and traits are becoming obvious, and it's interesting to link them to his past.
Food is important, you find this so often with foster children don't you? Of course food is important to all of us, but it's different for children with chaotic backgrounds. Sometimes they were told "No tea for you" because of some real or imagined misbehaviour...
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
THE BIG CAHUNA OF FOSTERING
Our most recent arrival, Romeo, has been with us about a month.
So honeymoon over.
The 'Honeymoon', if you're new to fostering, is the period of the first few weeks during which the child is comparatively co-operative, polite and even-tempered. The professionals use the term 'compliant'; it's more than that in my book.
Cynics use the phrase 'familiarity breeds contempt'. In my book, that one couldn't...
Thursday, January 07, 2016
THE CARER'S LIFE
Fostering isn't only about looking after other people's children until they are able to do it themselves. It brings other things into your life when people find out what you do. Early in the holiday period a member of my family asked me for help. He isn't someone I'd describe as close, but he's visited our house a couple of times - for family gatherings - since we started fostering. He's middle-aged,...
Tuesday, January 05, 2016
HOW I DEAL WITH MISBEHAVIOUR (WELL...TRY TO)
A reader, Nathalie, has asked a great question having read "The Paradox Of Fostering". Normally I reply to comments beneath the post, but this needs a more detailed reply. She wrote;
"This post was interesting to me, because I feel quite challenged by the notion that a foster parent such as yourself would 'put up with' behaviour like 'getting snipes about being useless, bad language when no-one...
Saturday, January 02, 2016
(SINGS) "HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LIDL CHRISTMAS..."
One of the carers who posts very welcome comments, Mooglet, has been wondering about how we deal with the problem of real parents who come up short with Christmas and birthday presents.
An interesting one, thanks Mooglet.
I think fostering feels this quandary most sharply at Christmas and birthdays, but it's probably an issue for the child all the year round. We try to give them the normal generosities...