Monday, January 15, 2018


Now that the dust has settled on the Christmas/New Year thing...

People make Resolutions, apparently 60% of them are abandoned come January 15th.

I do find, I really do, that in fostering every year, I look at the year to come and make up my mind to;

1. Get better organised for Christmas next year.
2. Arrange with Blue Sky to have a respite break (eg Lanzarote) sometime around Spring to re-charge the batteries.
3. Sort out a decent holiday in the sun for all the family somewhere warm and nice (ie Lanzarote) but not too expensive or far away.
4. Not allow Contact to bother me.*
5. Stay abreast of all the changes in social media and new technology.
6. Drop 10lbs so I my lectures about snacking and fast food are more authoritative.
7. Yoga.
8. Work closer with the schools.

* Contact; foster children are required to meet with significant family (maybe mum, maybe dad, maybe step-parents, brothers, sisters etc) usually once a week. It's a concept that means well but tests the child's emotions and many of us foster parents find that much of the time we have to apply the sticking plaster.

The best Contact I've ever experienced was a bit weird. The child, a teenage boy, had to meet once a week his... foster mum. Yep, his foster mum. She wasn't a Blue Sky carer; local authority.

What had happened was that the child, a teenager, was at home when the carer's sister and daughter visited. In the car on their way home the daughter told her mum that the lad had done something inappropriate when no-one else was around. The sister told the foster mum who decided to inform the authorities so that the allegation could be properly investigated. She was right to do that too. 

It meant the child was removed from her care and brought to me.

He was a truly great young man. I was certain from the off he'd be going back in no time.

But the lad had no family of his own; nobody related to him could be found, but he was entitled to Contact. So his foster mum turned up. The authorities said that under the circumstances it was okay for it to happen at our house.  Just another extraordinary episode in the extraordinary world of fostering.

Their Contact was a delight. The boy was so fond of his carer, she so devout towards him. Gladdened the heart. The whole thing was sorted out in a matter of weeks, the girl admitted she invented her story and I believe the boy is still with the woman, he'd be nearly eighteen now.

But back to my clear and undivided vision for 2018, I'd got to number 9.

9. Always remember that fostering is 10% proactive, 90% reactive. Meaning; our job is to react to things we couldn't predict or anticipate, and do our best to right things once we learn what needs to be righted. Day in, day out; that's the job.

Best job in the world too. In fact, that's my number 10;

10. Remember how much I love fostering.


  1. I commented on earlier posts about how long it was taking with our agency to finish the assessment process and actually get to the point where we could foster a child. 35 weeks later, of me chasing our agency at every step, we withdrew our application. It was an exercise in fustration, if the agency could not handle routine paperwork, we questioned if they could handle a difficukt issue once we got a foster child. We have changed agency, and this one is much more organised and things are moving along in a timely way. We need Blue Sky in my country! Lets hope thst in a few months we will be foster parents.

  2. I'm a fan of Blue Sky, so I'll echo your words. Fostering needs Blue Sky worldwide.
    Hang in my friend, nothing worth having is had without blood sweat and tears.
    You will surely get what you are trying for, and always remember there are children out there who will always be grateful that you stuck it out.