I'm not one for quick fixes. Come to think of it I'm not one for anything done 'quick'.For example you can keep quick drivers. And 'get rich quick' schemes.Our children are facing the most chaotic academic year since WW2, all down to the covid pandemic.Government UK seems hell-bent on getting schools opened asap despite the obvious risks. They tell us that if we don't cram hundreds of kids cheek-by-jowl...
Thursday, December 31, 2020
Monday, December 21, 2020
FLASHBULB MEMORIES
Foster children come and go and we're left with little flashbulb memories of them as souvenirs.Kate was a big sixteen-year-old girl - I never normally include people's size when decribing them but in her case it was so significant that her social worker told us about it in preparing us for her arrival.Kate had been removed from an abusive home.The father went to prison and her adult sister was allowed...
Sunday, December 13, 2020
A BIG SURPRISE FROM ONE FOSTER CHILD
Eldest foster child took a stance about Christmas that surprised me.Eldest is tough as old boots, has never knowingly done or said anything sentimental in the several years I'm proud of having him in my brood.I didn't get his stance until I heard someone say something on TV about Christmas and the penny dropped.The programme was on Sky Arts which we watch sometimes for Tales Of The Unexpected.It was...
Saturday, December 05, 2020
FOSTERING FAMILY MONTH
December is Fostering Family month at Blue Sky.We (me, my other half, and our children) used to be a family, now we are a fostering family.When we were just a family we were typical of many families; we managed to stick together through thick and thin, we had likes and dislikes about being a family, and like most families we didn't pay enough attention to the likes, instead harped on mostly...
Sunday, November 29, 2020
TOBLERONE AND THE SWEETNESS OF FOSTERING
Having been in fostering a while I sometimes risk getting to think I know most of it.That silly notion comes up and bites me every time.So what happened a few weeks before the first lockdown was this;Youngest foster child, who has been with us about 15 months, says they're ready to go into town on their own on a Saturday morning, hook up with school friends and come home as and when.Didn't actually...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020
HERE COMES THAT HOLIDAY
Look, the Christmas holiday is complicated enough in fostering without pandemic fears, lockdown confusion, tiers, masks, distancing etc etc etc etc etc .Imagine; You're a ten year-old who's been separated from their real family and installed in a strange new home with people you've never met before in a house with strange rooms, unfamiliar smells and furniture, a toilet and shower you had to...
Sunday, November 22, 2020
THANK YOU.
I've never said this out loud, but I've thought it from time to time;Thank you for reading this blog.I thank you because if you're reading this you're either a Foster Carer or someone thinking about it, or a Social Worker or someone else with either a professional or personal interest in a walk of life which is, as you already know, a walk on the wild side.So I'm saying a personal thank you...
Friday, November 13, 2020
NEW CHILD
Long story short we have a spare bedroom, so we've put ourselves forward to take short-term placements. By 'placement' - if you're new to fostering - I mean 'foster children being placed in your home'.We've stipulated short term for a bunch of reasons. One; we might need the bedroom back for family reasons (I said long story short…) but we'd get enough notice of that. Two; our unusual family is clicking...
Thursday, October 29, 2020
GENUINELY SCARY HALLOWEEN
Oh dear the tiny problems this pandemic throw up besides the unimaginable ones.It'll be Halloween in a couple of days!Every Halloween for the last few decades we've gone along with it, and gone along with whatever our foster children wanted from it. Very few wanted to go out door-knocking. Even fewer wanted to dress scary, for their own reasons. They preferred to stay in, pass judgement on the kids...
Monday, October 26, 2020
SUMMERTIME
Fostering throws up plenty of questions such as; "Why did I let myself in for this…"No, seriously, the questions don't come only from one's own mind. Foster children ask the strangest things, sometimes tinged with enormous wisdom and insight.Middle one yesterday;"We put the clocks back an hour? Why?"Me; "It's to do with daylight saving."Him: "How does it save daylight? That's stupid. There's the same...
Saturday, October 17, 2020
BAKE OFF YOURSELF
One of the great fallbacks in fostering is cooking. On a rainy day, when there's nothing on the TV, when no-one's got any friends, when Contact gets cancelled. It used to get howls of derision;"Lame!"But down the years I've learned to jazz it up, like last weekend.The Saturday had dragged and Sunday started too early, the first "I'm bored!" broke ground before my other half had finished...
Friday, October 09, 2020
IT'S OKAY TO BE SAD
How are you doing with the way the world is right now?The thing with blogging is that someone will probably read this post some years from now when (hopefully) there'll be a vaccine for Covid 19 and life will be back to normal. But more likely you're reading this with the pandemic in full flow, the second wave kicking in. We have no idea what the Christmas holidays will be like, and few people will...
Sunday, September 20, 2020
FOSTERING AND FOOD
So; Sunday morning quite early I was standing at the sink trying to work out how to clean out a peanut butter jar of those smears you can't get with a spoon, because I've just found out you're not supposed to put anything with food attached or even to which food has been attached (eg pizza boxes) in the recycle bin.Complicated? Still it's for the best.I had a kettle boiling to try to melt the stuff...
Thursday, September 10, 2020
SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT
She came to us at very little notice...it was either our house or she'd have to sleep in a police cell, would you believe, aged seven.I have never found the police to be anything other than fantastic when they are involved in helping children. All the same our spare bed was better than a night in a police station, with who knows yelling what in the next 'suite'.My phone had rung at about 11.30pm,...
Saturday, September 05, 2020
MUMS AND DADS
When a young person comes into your home to live, their thoughts about their real parents are so very important to the whole exercise.Fostered children have difficult perceptions about their parents, most will always struggle thinking about their mum and dad.Who doesn't sometimes?A few years ago, after my dad died, I found a photo of him I liked. He was a young man of 29 sat astride a big motor...
Thursday, August 27, 2020
A LEVELS AND FOSTER CHILDREN
There's this flippin' TV ritual every summer, happens about halfway through the school holidays. As a foster mum it's started to get my goat.Happens every summer, usually a Thursday, 6.00am. A level results come out. Breakfast TV sends cameras and reporters to schools for pictures of delighted kids, proud parents. By lunchtime it's still a 'hot' story because the 'experts' have crunched the...
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
FOSTER CHILDREN AND THEIR MUM
He was worried about his mum. He didn't come to me and say 'I'm worried about my mum', you have to work these things out for yourself.He was late home after going out to see friends. The late thing was no big deal, worth a word but he barked back;"Fer f's sake, gimme a break!"You never know what's boiling up in foster children, nor do they generally.I could have said something like;"Don't talk to...
Saturday, August 15, 2020
COUNTING SHEEP
Some people in fostering stick in the mind. I'm often reminded of one particular foster dad I met a while ago at a support meeting. Blue Sky set these sessions up and a Blue Sky person or two are in attendance but tend to take a back seat and let us foster parents sound off. They hop into the conversation as and when we need a professional steer or a top-up of facts or information.This dad was nearing...
Sunday, August 09, 2020
CONTACT JOY
So we had a strange 'contact' meeting between eldest foster child and a couple of members of his real family.We had to do it outdoors, so we met up in a park. We had to keep our distance so we laid out cushions on blankets 2 metres apart.We brought some snacks, still in their wrappers, which we sprayed with anti-bacteria and wiped dry as we handed them round.Sounds like a nightmare? Yes, but...
Tuesday, July 28, 2020
LIFE'S PURPOSE
Wow the pandemic is causing waves in every direction including us fosterers.
I had to go to my doctors with my new persistent backache; I thought it might be kidney stones - I've had them before so I know what they feel like.
She said it was probably just a muscle spasm or a rip or the like.
She asked me how were things, what was going on at home. I reminded her I fostered.
"Ah," she said "Enough...
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
SOCIAL WORKERS
We've had fantastic support from our social workers at Blue Sky through this pandemic.
Really, I'm not exaggerating, I won't embarrass the person - in any case I've every reason to believe that her level of support goes across the board for all Blue Sky Foster Carers.
When I talk to friends and family who are dealing with the whole thing on their own; dealing with lockdown, hand-washing, social...
Monday, July 13, 2020
HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH A FOSTER CHILD
Middle foster child is supposed to be moving up to secondary school in about six weeks, whether he does or not depends on the pandemic.
Maybe I've been lucky, but foster children seem to cope with the transition better than most, maybe upheaval comes naturally to them.
I've made a discovery worth sharing; it's this; today's generation of teens, the ones my generation tends to think are irresponsible...