Been quiet on the blog, been busy on the fostering front.
We've taken a new pacement and he's wonderful. But it's complicated.
I use the word "he" because he is now a he.
But this issue is not why the placement is complicated.
It's complicated as these things often are by chaotic parenting and an awful home life.
The child was one of many in a house supported magnificently by Social Servies wher most of the children didn't know who their fathers were,
A house with one mum, a mum who is out of her depth as a mum.
The mum is a bright person but brittle in her dealings with people.
The notes you get when a child is on their way can never paint the full picture, you get a variable amount of background depending on circumstances.
If the family have been on Social services radar for some time you get lots of information, all of it verified and outlined with professional discretion.
Other times the authorites have to act as soon as they go into a home, that's when support information is sketchy.
In this case the mum was well-known to be vulnerable and the children at risk, but Social Workers worked hard to keep them together if it was at all possible, as that's almost always what the family want, and with good supervision can be best for all, including the Local Authority's strained purse strings.
I'll call the child Billy, which is neither the name he grew up under, or the name he's chosen now that he wishes to be percieved as male.
Billy is tall and slight. He has a strong voice but speaks quietly. He is more than shy, he's frightened.
How could he not be?
We were informed that he was transitioning when we were asked to consider taking him, and replied that it wasn't something we knew a great deal about, but were prepapred to learn. Moreover we were no less prepapred to help than we would be with any child of any profile.
To us they are all kids in need of physical and emotional safety and attachments to caring adults.
Billy's not been with us long enough to present the normal challenges that foster children bring once they've got confidence that we won't hurt them or reject them. We've got that to come.
He's enjoyed coming out of his shell and talking (he's best one-on-one). He appreciates talking about his transitioning, which he's clearly proud of.
It's been agreed that we will help him maintain the self belief his journey is giving him, while also ensuring that he keeps hold of the many other qualities we believe he has that also deserve praise and celebration.
In other words, help him define himself in full, not just a person who has chosen to fight for his own true gender identification.
So far so good.
To be continued alright...
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