INDEPENDENCE DAY

 Apologies for my brief abscence; computer problem over, fingers crossed.

I suppose I could tax you with the details of the gradual decline of a laptop that had become a trusted friend. She knew me better than I did in some ways; she'd learned to anticipate my next move. Or so it seemed.

Then, just like so many poor people in our world today, she started being a bit slow, then a bit unpredictable, and finally downright difficult.

But, like so many people who stand by people who have begun that sad decline, I stuck by her as long as I could. Until, one morning I flipped her open only to be greeted by a symbol which was the equivilant of the road sign meaning "No Entry".

And that was her gone. 

The repair shop said she'd basically given up the ghost. They were able to retrieve some of the data on her - including, thank goodness, the Secret Foster Carer files. But as for the rest; a case of RIP old friend.

What I was able to do, though, which you can't do with loved ones, is buy a replacement.

And I'm on it now, finding it a bit tricky with it's shiny newness and facilities I don't know what to do with. But I'm not complaining.

It was one of those funny old days, the day my laptop died. 

Not only was my laptop dead, but so was the car. It struggled on the way back from the vet then, parked on our drive, wouldn't move an inch.

Not only that but our dog had to be kept in at the vet to be x-rayed because the operation they'd done on her back leg seems not to have taken and she's limping badly.

Not only that but I'm zonked on some bug or other. Headachy, stiff, sneezing, sore throat and can hardly keep my eyes open come 6.00pm! Tested negative for Covid and am due a flu jab soon, but deffo pretty rough.

So: 

Laptop         OUT

Car;             OUT

Dog:            OUT

Me:             OUT (Well, almost).

All on the same day. But y'know what? Nothing gets in the way of fostering when you foster…

Eldest came and talked to me. It was after midnight. There was a light tapping on our bedroom door. I knew that particular tap straight away, swung out of bed into my DG, and opened the door six inches.

I said "You OK?"

Eldest was standing there fully clothed and said:

"Can we have a chat?"

Now I don't mind telling you this made my day! (Or night, technically), because teenagers can be very monosyllablic if not downright non-speaking. So to get a request for a chat was heady stuff.

Turned out eldest wanted to buy and cook independently.

This would mean a budget for food, which eldest would buy in the shops, and there would have to be arrangements about who has dibs on the cooker, when and for how long.

This all might sound a bit drastic; a foster child shopping and cooking independently of the rest of the family, but I couild easily see what it was about and was happy to give it a green light.

See, children in care are even more enthusiastic about independence than other young people. How could they not be? Their birth family hasn't worked well, and they find themselves in with a family of strangers who - try as they might - will never be 'real' family. So their best bet seems to them to be to strike out on their own.

Obviously they can't set themselves up in accomodation and fend for themselves, not as minors.  But y'know what? A large part of our job with the older ones is getting them tooled up for the outside world. 

This was all a couple of days ago, so the plan is still alive. My guess is it will happen, but peter out after a few days. Young people often talk openly about their grand plans and get rewards from those who'll listen.

It can often end up with them almost feeling as if they've fulfilled their schemes by explaining what they are in advance. Once they've semi-experienced a pipe-dream they don't have any further need of it, so it's on to the next scheme.

I don't know when eldest thinks there's time for shopping and preparing and cooking and eating, followed by washing up and putting away. Not with all that Netflix to watch and homework and revision to squeeze in.

All that work will quickly be replaced by takeaways before the discovery that the budget simply doesn't stretch to Deliveroo more than twice a week. Then it'll be back to where we are now, with me as Head of Catering.

But. Eldest went off to bed one step nearer being independent. 

One step nearer being on control of creating a life that's well deserved and long overdue.