THEY GROW

 Our eldest foster child is now old enough to drive. And so he does.

We insured him for our modest Peugeot 208 (cost: arm and a leg). 

I can say for sure, hand on heart, nothing has emboldened him for the adult life ahead more or better than driving.

We have apps on our phones that let us track him and register top speeds, acceleration and sudden braking. He's a bit quicker than us, but doesn't break the limit. He knows we can monitor him, and he seems delighted; it's another bond with us, and what's much more is that he can show what a good adult he is becoming.

We've drummed into him that if he were to ever fail a breathalyser he'd be banned, but we think he's clocked more than the negatives of irresponsibility; he's growing into the realm of being responsible because it's the right way to be.

He drives off to see mates most weekends, doesn't touch a drop. 

Loves (and I mean LOVES) driving back to ours at 2.00am stone cold sober. Through rain and wind.

He loves it.

See, (I think) he has control at last of everything around him. Control of where the car he's driving is going, control of the music, the heater, the windscreen fan, the wipers.

After a rotten childhood of being dominated by adults who were unpredictable and incohesive he's got a domain where the rules are clear and fair and he has the authority to function with them. That's what it is to be a grown-up.

Result!

When your foster children turn a corner in one way or another it lifts the spirits each time.

Thinking about it reminds me of a boy who came to us for a short stay. He was 15, but a grown-up 15, by which I mean he'd started shaving. His mother was in a terrible state having had numerous children by numerous fathers. The boy told me that he knew his father was Eastern European, and that was all he knew.

I won't go into details too much, but the boy came to stay with us because the foster home he'd lived in for 15 years was under scrutiny.

When I say "scrutiny" it's important to understand that Blue Sky provide top training on the Do's and Don'ts of fostering, and also how to handle Allegations.

"Allegations" 

Blue Sky always come to the rescue.

In this case the 15 year-old was removed from his foster home while the authorities investigated.

So, we knew we had him for a few weeks, tops.

Now, the thing is that he'd been fostered for 15 years by a single person; an ex-army major, who happened to be a person who didn't care for football.

But the boy did.

So.

What happened was this.

It was a Saturday evening and I turned in about 10.00pm, ie around when Match of the Day starts.

About 10.30pm I heard male noises from downstairs so I went down for a glass of water. My other half was horizontal on the sofa watching the football. 

As was the boy.

Here's the thing…EEK. They both can a can of Stella perched on their tummy. 

Me and my other half talked about it the next morning.

He told me that the boy was so keen to become a man and put his childhood behind him that my man went into the kitchen, opened a can of Stella, drained off two thirds of it and topped it up with lemonade. The boy knocked it back - from the can - like a geezer, and went off to bed of the view that Arsenal are over-rated.

This is what we do in fostering. It's under-rated.

Whereas Arsenal, I'm informed, are over-rated.