GOING HOME

 As anyone who fosters knows; fostering can, from time to time, loom large in your home.It's why Blue Sky sends one of their social workers to visit for a heart-to-heart once a month - or more often if needed - to make sure you're looking after yourself as well as your child.No-one's alone in fostering.I was putting a wheelie bin out when a nice couple walked past with a dog exactly like ours.We...

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A MESS IN THE LIVING ROOM

 It's never any fun coming down ion the morning to a mess.But once you have a foster child who's old enough to stay up watching TV after you've taken yourself to bed it's inevitable.Eldest is now old enough and responsible enough. The TV has all the parental controls but there are channels that know who wants to watch what and how to programme films and shows that are groovy but safe.Nevertheless...

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GIVE FOSTERING A GO

 I got chatting with a lady from the other end of our road, and the subject of fostering came up.She asked me a question along the lines of;  "Do you think fostering's for me?"It's a hard question to answer, obviously.I remembered a story I'd read in a children's book as a kid. It was about the Chinese wise man Confuscious.In the story a person goes up to Confuscious and asks; "There are...

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SURFING AND FOSTERING

 It's easily the most asked, and also most difficult question in fostering."When am I going home?"For one thing there's nothing bigger in the minds of foster children than going home.Equally, there's no bigger question we have to answer.Kyle asked me a couple of days ago. I had said at teatime that we were taking everyone on a summer mini-break. He hung back when I said people could get down...

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DEAL OR NO DEAL

 Kids like to look cool, I was the same. Foster children are no different, why should they be?I took our eldest - "Alicia" - to a gathering at Blue Sky for foster parents with older kids. My social worker had told me discreetly that some teenage foster children become a bit introverted and tend to spend a lot of time in their room instead of with friendship groups.Easy to see why. When a child...

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A GAME OF SARDINES

 Going back a few years we had a young lady stay with us, Nicky. I've touched on her story once before In the blog, but something came up yersterday which jogged my memory of her.She'd had a terrible childhood. Both her parernts had learning difficulties and had profound hearing loss. Her father was serving 10 years in prison for a crime against another member of the family, that's all I'll say...

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I'M NOT WASHED UP!

 Fostering is all about helping a child from outside your family feel comfortable in your home.How you do this depends on a) understanding your own home, and b) understanding the foster child.It's all about working out where the child fits.I want to flag up the task of WASHING UP.Age plays a huge part in the whole integration thing, as does personality.Then there's the matter of how much damage,...

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MEALTIME MATTERS

 Mealtimes can be complicated in fostering. Food in every form is SO important to every foster child I've ever had. I can't overstate how valuable a piece of kit that food can be in the foster parents' toolbox.Nobody enjoys feeling hungry, and it seems that most- if not all - children who come into care have suffered all sorts of deprivations in the food department.Back in the day when I started...

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SUPPORT MEETINGS

 I'm fresh from a Blue Sky support meeting, where foster carers show up for a chat about how things are going.Whether the frequest get-togethers are face-to-face or virtual is neither here nor there, it's brilliant to get a peek into other carers worlds. Every foster child is unique.Come to that, every foster parent is unique too.You get stay-at-home mums whose children have left home, ex-squaddies,...

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IN FOSTERING IT'S ALWAYS "ONWARDS AND UPWARDS"

 I've been fostering a transitioning child for several months now, she's becoming female having been identified at birth as male.Her new name is Alicia.Alicia has a couple of friends at her school who are on the same journey as her, and they spend time together. She tells me she and her friends are also included in other friendship groups, and that none of the pupils give them any trouble.Kids...

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"DO YOU GET A SAY IN THE CHILDREN YOU GET?"

 A neighbour and I got chatting in the street a couple of days ago.She lives several  doors down from me,  I've said "Good morning" to her for years, without getting to know her, so it came as a surprise to her as we chatted for her to discover that I fostered.It reminded me how seldom I raise the subject in conversation.I noticed her mind working. Sometimes people change the subject...

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MUM, D'YOU WANT A PARACETAMOL?

 Children coming into care have often had to teach themselves self-preservation.I'll tell you about a dear, sad child we looked after, in a moment.They often have had to learn to get by without enough love, support and care. Sometimes without even adequate food and drink.We once took in a child who, aged five, had been left alone in the house all day with only a dog for company. The child had...

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