My Blue Sky supervising social worker has just left.
She arrrived, as ever, on the dot of the agreed time - 9.30am - for our monthly catchup, and left at midday.
I can't overstate how invaluable is this regular once-over.
Among other things we talked about how important it is to my marriage that we, as a couple, have fostering. And how valued is our fostering to opur marriage.
The conversation moved on to people who bring up children on their own, usually known as "single mums", or sometimes "single dads".
Honestly my mind boggles with their achievement.
We agreed to agree; being a single parent is by no means twice as hard as doing it with a partner.
It's tougher than twice as hard.
Not only do they do it all, all the things two parents do together (or should if they get it right); the single parent has no-one to share their parenting with. At least, not every minute of the day, and night, which is what you do if you and your other half are in it together.
Me and my husband talk incessantly about our family. If I have something worrying me I run it past him when we're alone, and vice versa. If I'm handling a problem I can ask him if I'm getting it right. What I mean is, you have access to support as and when it's needed.
We share jobs.
My point here is this; one of the best foster mums I know is single. She does the whole job alone, except, of course, for her Blue Sky social worker. And she's absolutely brilliant.
I remember going to a party some time ago which was thrown by a work colleague, a single mum with a ten year-old. The party goers drifted off around midnight until it was just the three of us; her, me, and my other half. She started to tidy up; cups and plates and dirty glasses and bottles and pots and pans and bowls with a few crisps left…
I offered to help, but she refused and ushered us out. When we got in I said to my other half;
"How the heck does she cope with doing EVERYTHING - day in day out."
Respect.
However. The reason the topic came into consideration during a Blue Sky supervision session is as follows; Blue Sky are hoping that hubby and I agree to sign up for "Parent and Child" fostering. We're thinking about it.
Parent and Child is where the fostering family takes in a parent (usually a mother, but not necessarily) and the child (usually a baby but not necessarily). I did some of these way back, when it was called "Mother and Baby", but we live in modern times.
Our social worker brought us up to date with Parent and Child, and we dropped anchor at the topic of how many single parents out there can't cope.
We try to steer clear of generalisations; every pesron is unique and owns their own merits, but stats are stats. Single mums - and dads - are finding it harder and harder.
So; instead of a queue of teenage girls with newborn babies who need fostering, nowadays you might be asked to consider talking a single parent and an older child; the parent has run out of steam. Run out of steam, money, accomodation and support. Not to mention running out of hope.
The child is at risk of being remaindered.
Our social worker wound things up and left, leaving me with plenty to think about.
I thought to myself; "When he gets home tonight we've got lots to talk about".
And because we can, we will.