I have never considered that but I suspect you're right - its the IMPACT the name might have on a child that has not been considered by children. My name is normal but its one of those names that can be spelt two ways, drove me crazy how often people spelt it wrong when I was growing up. I imagine anyone with extra Es or Ys or c/k and s/z mixes is going to face the same.
FYI - Roald Dahl was born in the UK, but his family were Norwegian. So his name was unusual for us, but fairly common over there. Its considered old fashioned now - a bit like our version of Harold or Reginald - we all know its a name but we don't know anyone under 60 called it.
A while ago I was watching TV when an expert raised a point about the use of names.
Got me thinking about the general importance of a child's own name, and how we parents use that name.
I remember being told that our favourite sound is the sound of their own name; but that doesn't mean it's a welcome sound for everybody.
Lots of people change their names for all sorts of reasons. Take politicians; remember George Osborne the Chancellor? His real name was Gideon, but he thought it made him sound posh. Going way back a Prime minister called Harold had changed his name from James, thought it made him sound more working class. His successor was called James. He'd changed his name from Harold because he thought no-one called Harold stood a chance of becoming Prime Minister…
Boris Johnson's real name is Alex. One of his middle names is Boris, he used Boris as it made him seem more fantastical.
Would Elton John have become who he is if he'd stuck with Reginald Dwight?
A child's name is one of the first things they own, and when parents are faced with choosing a name they sometimes think of themselves more than the child.
See, my point is something like this;
If parents aren't careful, they use their childrten's name in admonition, saying things such as:
"Karl! Stoppit!"
"Kylie! Don't do that!"
"Martin! I saw that!"!"
"Vicky! We're going to be late!"
"Dillon! Please don't use words like that!"
You get the gist…
Is it as big deal? Probably not, but even if it's a small deal, it's a deal worth thinking about.
If it's worth building into your fostering manual, I guess the answer is to include the child's name when you praise them.
Get them to associate your use of their name with positive things. Reduce the number of times you include their name when being stern.
It's worth a thought.
And who was the expert who planted this seed about names?
None other than that bloke with a cravat who shows us…
…how to get your dog to do what it's told!
He said that too many owners only use their dog's name when they're misbehaving; a good tip.