'GIMME A BELL"

 One of the biggest changes I've seen in fostering is mobile phones.

Put simply, they didn't used to be an issue when I started fostering because they didn't exist.

Today; they exist alright, and are almost at the very centre of the lives of every youngster, and from a very early age.

It begins with babes in arms noticing that their parent cherishes their phone almost as much as their baby. "Hmmm..." thinks the wee one, before they have developed logical thought; 'These little metal bricks must be important the way mummy plays with one all day. Then there's those plastic bricks they point at the TV to make Peppa Pig appear; they're important too. And fun."

The babe learns that they've got to get their hands on phones and remote controls, just like mum and dad do.

Mobile phones are children's gateway into the world of social media. And that's where they become a challenge for foster parents.

When it's your own children you travel alongside them on their journey into social media, right from day one. You share the decisions about when to get their first phone, what sort of deal it's on, and what controls you put on it. 

Children coming into care have all sorts of different history with their mobile phone, and for the foster mum or dad, managing their usage becomes a big part of the overall job.

I've never met a single foster parent who didn't have a stack of stories about kids and their phones.

Is social media a big problem? Gee, go ask the Australians. As I expect you know, their government is attempting to ban the use of social media for all children under the age of 16.

As my eldest put it when he saw it on the news feed (on his mobile phone…)

"Good luck with that one then."

And that young person is absolutely spot on.

Here's my favourite tale about mobile phone challenges in fostering; I love it - it tells you what people who are trying to help their young stay safe are up against.

So... this foster mum had a teenager in her care who wanted total freedom on her mobile. The youngster liked to disappear into the bedroom and tap away on forums, chat rooms, Facebook and the rest. This would very much not do. The teenager had mild vulnerabilities (bullying, peer rivalry, jealousy - the usual suspects) so mum got together with Blue Sky and they worked out a strategy for helping the young person reduce their phone activity and that way limit their exposure to negative social media.

It was agreed that there would be a large empty fruit bowl placed on the telephone table next to the front door. Every family member would drop their phone into the bowl on returning home, so it was out of use for all to see.

The foster mum expected resistance from the child, but to her surprise she got total compliance.

Every afternoon after school the bowl proved the child's mobile phone was sitting harmlessly in the hallway.

The mum reported this wonderful upturn to her local authority social worker…who was suspicious.

The next time the social worker visited it was a school holiday, so the child was upstairs in the bedroom - without her phone.

The social worker said "Right. I want to try something".

She fetched the child's mobile phone and opened the back of it.

I know this sounds a bit intrusive to some; private property and all that. But the social worker reminded the foster mum that the Local Authority had guardianship of the child while in care and that meant duty of care.

So she opened the phone and sure enough…the Sim card slot was empty.

Turned out the youngster had bought a second phone and kept its existence from everyone. All you do is remove the Sim card from your known phone, put the known phone in the bowl, buzz up to your room and insert your card into your secret phone.

And off you go into the ether of social media.

Clever.

Apparently it's a well-known trick and social workers are tooled up on it.

Short story long, they effected a clampdown by turning off the home wifi at 6.00pm; the children all used the wifi so as not to use up expensive airtime on their phones.

On top of that they maintained the reminders about the dangers of social media and the importance of staying safe.

Meanwhile, back in Australia the kids are sharing tricks to get around the government ban. They're way ahead of the AI the Aussies are using to block under 16s. One girl got approved by a robot by offering a picture of her mum.

Another got allowed usage by offering a photo image of…Beyonce.

Beating the block has become part of the game.

Kids of today 1, Artificial Intelligence 0.

In a way it's frustrating. In another way it's a tad inspirational...