Fostering isn't easy, I've always been up front about that.
If a person contacts their local authority or a nearby fostering agency (I'm with Blue Sky, they're Five Star), you'll be given an overview of the role, and the ups and downs.
There are Downs.
Children coming into your care will have had a rough time. I always say; "Do not expect the Von Trapp children (those annoyingly perfect kids from the Sound Of Music).
There are Ups too.
Here are my top ten, indulge me. Because THERE'S A NEW NUMBER ONE.
10) Foster child who said: "When mummy comes out of prison can she come and live here to see what a proper mummy is like?"
9) Foster child who heard me say the upstairs toilet was broken. He asked for a toolkit and went and fixed it.
8) Child was distraught; not allowed home for the weekend, only consoled by a late night dash to McDonalds. On the way back she said;"Ain't the moon beautiful going fru' the tops of them trees."
7) Abused child: "I wanna go home. But I love it here so much I wanna stay." This child I see in town sometimes. He's OK.
6) Foster mother of a newborn who had never had a childhood herself. We took her and her baby to the beach. She made sandcastles like the five-year-old she'd never been. I'll never forget her joy.
5) Eleven year old wanted/needed to cook a meal for us. And did. And it was…ok. And we ate it with delight and gusto. At the end she said "I know it was c**p, but thanks for pretending it was ok." BTW she is now a regarded chef.
4) A child whose father was a difficult dad. He wanted to prove he was better than any foster carer (you get this a bit). His child said to me "He's not really any good at anything, you have to sneak him little things to make him feel proud of himself" This canny child was six.
3."Please don't die. I'll be all alone and have to live in a doorway." A child to whom I'd said (thoughlessly) "Don't walk near the kerb, you'll give me a heart attack." She meant what she said…
2) A foster child who, holding my hand as we walked across the park simply said to me "Why are you so nice?"
AND MY NEW NUMBER ONE
1) We've started fostering "Parent and Child". It's early days, week two. The Parent is a very young mum. I took her shopping in Tesco and sent her off on her own to buy what she needed. When we got home she unpacked she gave me a bunch of flowers and said "I bought a card as well but didn't have a chance to write it."
Then she said; "I bought the gifts for being so kind."
Only in fostering...