Tuesday, April 12, 2022

SO FAR SO GOOD

 Saul came through his first Contact with us not too badly, really.

There are so many worries about these darned Contacts I get almost as stressed as the children.

No hang on, that's rubbish; the stuff going on for them is beyond belief. I guess what I'm saying is I share a bit of that stress for them.

I got to see Saul's mother for the first time. 

You can never put a lid on your curiosity about the real parents. You can justify your nosiness by saying it'll help you foster them better if you have a bead on the chaotic home they were removed from…

But actually it's mostly human inquisitiveness.

I'd taken Saul in and left him with the supervisor.

First thing I noticed was that she came out of her car - a nice SUV - with a lot of self-confidence. A swagger almost, y'know… the slam of the door, the click of the remote over her shoulder, the heave on her nice shoulder bag after she'd flipped the car keys into it. I imagine she might have been pretty stressed up too about being in a location where she is the designated 'mother who has had a child removed'. That can't sit well. 

Or maybe she's re-constructed the whole scenario so that she and her family are victims of a dysfunctional/corrupt system, in which case her swagger is real if misplaced.

She must have worked out that I was the foster mum, sitting in my car watching. She didn't give me any eyeball, no acknowledgement. She stalked across the car park and into the Contact Centre.

But I'd taken her in. Or so I believe. I'm not any student of human nature but some things stand for themselves;

First off, she was tall. And had high hair. With colours in it. Highlights and a bit of blue.

Quite slender, well angular really. She moved awkwardly, her gait was awkward. Unbalanced by her big heels. 

Male parents of kids in care are comparitively free from these kinds of observations; their hair is nondescript as are their clothes. They tend to show up with a lost look about them.

She was dressed to impress. A fur gillet over a bronze roll neck. Tight leggings/pants that fed down into expensive boots. Nice bag.

Then there's the face.

She had a look I've seen on so many parents of children taken into care. 

A set look.  A grimness, I sensed she felt they'd been treated unfairly, and was giving that off in her face.

Some anger, embarrasment and the irritation of inconvenience.

Now, one gets all that. 

But here's the thing; parents going into Contact with a bad mood is no good for the kids.

Saul was escorted out by the supervisor after an hour, the mother had been required to wait until we'd vamoosed. I presume this is done because of past difficult interactions between the various parties.

On the way back he chomped on his sweets and I got him to tell me what he knew about Kung Fu Panda, which was a blatant piece of distraction, giving him a chance to boss the conversation.

I doubt he'd had as much fun throughout the preceding hour.







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