HAND WASHING

 When you foster a child one of the first things that rears itself into view is the child's view of their own family.

They are bewildered - especially if young - that they've been haulded out of a domestic situation that they assume is normal. 

"So," they think to themselves "Why an I now living and sleeping in a stranger's house, and who do they think they are? What, so some stranger told me just  because my mum and her latest boyfriend, the syringes thing and the drinking while we were watching them wierd films. And the loud crazy noiseslate at night. Isn't it what people do?"

It's one of the many tricky ones that foster folk face. And when children in care ask why are they in a strange house, the foster parent is stuck with trying to explain that it's because their parents (or bunch of adults who came in and out) needed some time and space to sort out a few things.

And the big thing you tell the child?

Which they scarecly believe in my humble experience.

The big thing you have to try to get across is: that it's NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT.

So: can't remember if I've told this before, forgive me if have.

We accepted a child who was very acquiescent, very shy and quiet.

Age eight as I remember.

She was very polite and obedient, almost too much so.

Every morning we heard her in the bathroom washing herself. Most fastidious.

Every evening she followed the same procedure.

She was washing her hands, almost to the point of them getting red and sore.

Together with our Blue Sky Social Worker we pieced it together.

The child had been brought up in a chaotic home. Where hygiene and normal protocols were out of the window.

But, whenever a Maccy D meal or a Chinese takeaway arrived, one of the "adults" would shout at the (hungry) children; "Oi! Go wash yer hands!"

A sad attempt by the person who shouted it to appear responsible. See, everyone ate with their hands to avoid any neeed for washing dishes and cutlery.

BUT.

What fomented in the child was that her failure to wash her hands properly and often enlugh was the reason the family was intervened.

She came to us believing that the 'family' was disseminated  because she didn't keep her hands clean or wash her hands properly.

She was eight when she came to us.

I happen to understand she's gone on okay and is doing not too badly.

Still in care.

I guess you could say that her significant others washed their hands of her...