Interesting question; what happens to a child in care when they reach their 18th birthday?
They're not a child any more, not in the eyes of the law. Mind, does that mean they're ready to get out there into the big bad world and fend for themselves?
Stupid question.
Of course not.
Why, I'm not sure I'm ready yet, and my 18th birthday is a dim and distant, except for one sure memory, namely I could not have come close to coping on my tod.
The fact that a child is in care all the way up to their 18th means they haven't a home or family to return to, so if they strike out on their own and it doesn't work out they've got nobody to run to. No mum or dad with a bedroom made up and ready.
Now, people are all too quick to knock Social Services and Local Authorities, but they should come see the amazing safety nets they put in place for children leaving care.
I've had a small handful of foster children reach adulthood in our home, and down the years the aftercare has got better and better.
We've got one such child at the moment, so we're witnessing the system first hand.
A quick word about the 'child', a young person we have come to love as our own. Literally.
The young adut is giddy with 'adulthood'. He's testing out being a full-blown citizen and no longer enduring the second-class status we confer on children.
Bought himself a can of something mildly alcoholic, and one of those ridiculous ecigarette pens, which he 'smokes' in the shed. Went for 'afters' with some older friends after celebrating New Year, and walked home by himself in the dark. See, he's now a geezer.
He calls my other half 'mate' and me 'darlin''
The way I see it, his childhood was so rotten he's mad keen to draw a line under it and sees reaching adulthood as a kind of baptismal new start.
But it don't mean he'd know how to get a job, or how to claim universal credit or rent support or how to juggle domestic finances.
When a child in care reaches 18 they say goodbye to their Local Authority Social Worker.
Which was a bit emotional, because everybody loves him and no-one wants goodbyes where he's concerned.
But they don't abandon him. His Social Worker is replaced by a kind of personal trainer, a social worker who specialises in helping the young person on their way.
And Blue Sky, rock solid as ever, stay on hand.
The allowance that we get for paying his bills is reduced, but as he's staying on with us he gets help with the rent he's required to pay us!
This is a new one on me, because I'm not the landlady type, but it's been explained it's all part of a plan to shape the young person up for the real world.
His personal assistent is great, she's visited us and made a great impression. She's right across all the potential pitfalls and our 18-year-old is happy as can be to have the right type of support.
He borrowed the car last Saturday, didn't get home 'til after midnight. Stuck to Pepsi Max all night.
We noticed that he switched off the headlights as he coasted silently up our drive so's not to wake anybody.
He's going to be a great adult.
Actually, now I think of it, he already is.
As usual, when everything else is stacking up around me, I have a dwell on how amazing is our fostering system in this country and puff my chest out for being a small part of it.
But you don't get much of a chance to daydream.
Next job; how do I get him to take his turn to put out the wheelie bins…?
Great post! I am very proud of what we offer our young care leavers.
ReplyDeleteTwo of mine are at Uni, both studying vocational courses that will lead to proper jobs hopefully. The support we had made a huge difference to them. We receive staying put payments when they are back here at holidays, and they have received full loans toward their tuition and living costs AND received a small grant from the LA too.
The one is at a Uni that provides a little extra funding for LAC students, so she gets a small amount of money from them at the end of each term to see her through the holiday. The other just applied for a scholarship which would greatly help her out if she gets it, but is also getting some extra funding via the NHS Learning Support Fund. That is another fantastic scheme to support any students (not just care leavers) likely to end up working for the NHS in certain roles.
The leaving care team probably had it easy with us - I was able to help our kids with all the applications and practical requirements of applying, interviewing and actually going to uni - such as needing a Guarantor if you go into private halls of residence and help moving into halls. But its good to know there is a whole team on hand if we need more advice or support.
Generally the Uni Welfare teams are super helpful too. I would recommend any looked after young person going to Uni to reach out to the Welfare teams as soon as they apply, they sometimes receive an adjusted offer (lower entry requirements) as Universities understand the impact their early life experience can have on education and exam results. Some universities offer free accomodation or mentoring too.
This is so lovely, my first foster kid has just turned 16 and we haven’t had to deal with ‘what happens when you’re 18’. We love him to bits and hope he remains on staying put so we can carry on preparing him just a bit longer.
ReplyDeleteI think he’ll do just fine but just needs the extra time to enjoy an extended childhood and catch up on the bits he’s missed.
Good luck to your young lad! And you are vital that extra time to recover mentally from trauma and then catch up on missed experiences is vital. Our oldest did an extra year at college (3 rather than the normal 2) so was a year older than many youngester going to uni, but they had needed that extra year to mature and catch up. The younger blasted through GCSEs and Alevels despite covid, and still seems very young mentally to be at uni. We're staying in very close contact. We love them to bits - the older has actually turned 21 so technically not under our care now but is still back frequently to use the washing machine, eat all our food and just spend some time with us and the younger kids (not related, but share that bond that all looked after kids seem to have).
DeleteYou're a real credit to the troops! No-one knows what fostering is unless they've done it, and you have. And you are. Here's respecting your amazing - and ongoing - achievement.
ReplyDeleteGosh Mooglet and STC, we're still a few years off but I hope so much that our oldest is in the same "place" as yours - settled and about to launch into his adult life, shaped by his experiences but not so overwhelmed by them as he is now. Congratulations - I'm sure your older children are a reflection on your wonderful fostering!
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