WHERE DOES FOSTERING FIT IN FAMILY LIFE?

 This is going to sound like an offload.

Because it is. An offload skillfully disguised as a reveal about how we foster parents embed our fostering in everything else that's going on in the home. The normal family stuff. Which from time to time is a bit much.

So; last night I slept on the sofa.

I slept on the sofa to be with our big dog, who yesterday had an operation to replace her cruciate ligament, which she snapped. An artificial ligament was put in as a replacement. Major operation. 

We're also looking after another dog, a wee one. She belongs to the sister of one of our two daughters-in-law. They've got an 18 month old toddler, our grandson. We took the wee dog off their hands because the dog is getting old and needs constant care with her number ones and twos, and you don't want that with a toddler permanently in the house. The dog doesn't actualy belong to our daughter-in-law, she took the dog in when her sister, whose dog it is, got a job in Dubai and thought the temperature would be too much for the dog. How we've ended up with the dog is a mystery; the reason the sister's parents can't have the dog is because, in their words; "We're cat people." Only they don't actually have any cats.

So I spent the night on the sofa to be beside our big dog, who's housed in a six foot cage because she mustn't put any weight on her operated leg. The wee dog slept on the arm of the sofa, by my head.

Our other daughter-in-law, who also has an 18 month-old toddler, is unwell with sinusitis so I'm going over to see her and help out later today.

Both sets of parents live 5 minutes from us, thankfully.

I'll be taking our other grandchild, the grandson, who normally gets looked after by his other grandmother one day a week (today) but the grandmother (the "cat" person with no cats) is in Dubai with her daughter who's also just had a baby.

I'm looking after our grandson today, so he'll come with me to our other daughter-in-law, the one who has sinusitis. Her partner (our eldest son) works away from home four nights a week, so she's on her own.

Meantime my partner is spending the morning supporting an elderly friend who's on his own, before going into town to have a secret coffee meeting with an ex-colleague who's now a head honcho with a big firm and might be able to wangle a job for my man, whose employers are struggling and might have to do redundancies. All a bit of a headache, obviously.

Somewhere in all of this stuff; we foster.

And it works. It works like this;

Last night my other half and I drove to the vets to bring our dog home after her surgery. Our eldest foster child took control of the house. When we got home, foster child had secured the wee dog in the kitchen and came out to help us carry big dog in. We coudn't have done it without him. He showed enormous common sense and calm, and more than that he showed true and deep empathy for the dog, who was confused and frightened.

Watching him care for our wounded pet was incredibly uplifting, the child has had a hard time and is only just starting to find empathy in his heart.

We got the dog into her cage in the living room and he stayed and chatted with us, a peer amongst peers, not a child with his parent/carers.

A milestone moment, and one born out of the maelstrom of normal family life.