I went to a Blue Sky Christmas dinner and found myslef sitting with a delightful couple. Came into the conversation that they were Muslim. I asked them what Christmas was for them and they replied with a gentle smile "Well, no disrespect, for us this year it's just another Thursday." Then they added; "Unless we are caring for a child who needs to celebrate Christmas."Our current eldest foster...
Tuesday, December 31, 2024
Monday, December 23, 2024
FOSTERING; LOVE ON LEGS
Lots of people ponder about becoming foster carers, and many, so I understand, end up browsing the Secret Foster Carer to get a bead on what it's like.Fostering is hard work in many respects, but also one of the best things anyone can do in life.It's up to you if that's a good deal.It's definitely a good deal for the child/children you'll help along the way, and that's a big part of the good...
Friday, December 13, 2024
KEEPS YOU ON YOUR TOES
Every day is a new day in fostering.Everyone in fostering knows this.It's not the big things, which can come along like unexpected hurricanes.It's the little things, behind which sometimes lurk big things.Take middle child, and yesterday.Child had endured the school Nativity Play. Child didn't have a part, but as the parent one shows up out of willing.I've attended roughly every Nativity...
Sunday, December 01, 2024
THE CONVERSATIONS YOU HAVE
Our next door neighbour has passed away.Ann was late eighties, and had been unwell for some time. Her passing was peaceful, her family at her bedside.I popped round next day and offered our condolences, which was much appreciated. Her husband was weepy, but said how much he loved her. Then he said this;"I'm ninety and I've got this far without ever seeing anyone die, and now I have, and...
Wednesday, November 27, 2024
MOVIES THAT FOSTER CHILDREN ENJOY
Fostering brings all sorts of things into one's life. I sometimes wonder what people who don't foster actually do with themselves.It's not only the little jobs that multiply, it's the brain-work of trying to understand the significance of the little things in the life of your foster child.The child I'm thinking about this time is our youngest placement, who has a thing about "Frozen".Why would a child...
Saturday, November 23, 2024
COPING
A reader who signs as "L" writes;"Hi SFC, I hope you're doing ok. We're struggling a bit with the transition to having a new member of the family - who is a delight. I won't go into detail so I can respect privacy, but I'd love to hear your words of wisdom about whether you've ever "bitten off more than you can chew". The child is wonderfully behaved at home but often sent home from childcare, and...
IT'S A 24/7 THING
The latest figures about fostering are saddening.In the last 3 years 3,000 carers have left fostering.Big business is moving in; residential care homes for older children in care are springing up; one new one every day.I don't know enough about these homes to deserve to have a view, but the newspapers seem allied together in their take on them; namely that they're not good for the young people, but...
Thursday, November 14, 2024
WHY IS CONTACT LIKE A TORCH?
There are things to moan about in fostering but I try not to.From time to time fostering is taxing, but you knuckle down and sort it.There's always a Blue Sky social worker behind you.On the whole fostering is grand.Probably the one thing in fostering I'd change is "Contact".I'd make Contact more elexible than the "once a week" dictat that almost always is a bit of a spanner in the works.Not...
Thursday, October 31, 2024
BEST THING EVER
Foster parents get asked; How do I get into fostering?What sort of person volunteers?I can only speak on behalf of me and the many fostering folk I've met in my time.We meet at training sessions, support meetings, supervision events, coffee mornings, social things, anniversary do's. Christmas dinners.Sometimes, when chatting you find yourself asking other carers; "What did you do before fostering?"It's...
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
FOSTERING AND FOOD
Food, as I often say, is SO important to most foster children.This truth was one of the first things I learned when I began fostering.The importance of food begins with finding out what's the favourite food of a new child who's on their way to you. If you are able, you cook that meal on day one.Blue Sky always try to get this information to the carer because they too know what a bridge-builder...
Tuesday, October 29, 2024
HARD TO BELIEVE. BUT 100% TRUE.
In fostering you can sometimes forget that you're in fostering.And that's a splendid state of affairs.Because it means one thing and one thing only;It means that your ship is steady despite there being an unusual load on one side of the boat.But if you can absorb the special stuff that fostering brings to your home, and notice that you're going along on the straight and narrow, you're doing...
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
I'M WITH THE AGENCY...
In the UK there are basically two ways to get into fostering.I have a quirky little quirk that'll amuse you in a moment…One way to get involved is to contact your local authority social services department directly. There's such a crying need for more foster parents that it's likely you'll see their advertsements for people to come forward. If you follow that route the local authority...
Monday, October 07, 2024
FOSTER KIDS WARM TO OTHER FOSTER KIDS
We've been fostering with Blue Sky for fifteen years now.So something must be going right…We'd originally started fostering twenty years before, but then our own children came along and we put fostering on hold.Thinking back to then, what we thought was that we needed to put all our time and effort into out own kids.On balance, we got that wrong.A family can benefit from welcoming a foster child....
Thursday, October 03, 2024
HOW TO CONNECT
One of the things you often have to do with a foster child is to help them get used to other people.Shyness is one thing - it's normal. But foster children sometimes have something different; almost a phobia about people.Often they've been deprived of normal company.Katie came to us aged 8. Katie was nigh on incapable of interacting with anybody. She was bright and articulate, mainly because...
Sunday, September 29, 2024
CHATTING WITH YOUR FOSTER CHILD
Sometimes I have the most revealing conversations if there's a foster child or two involved.Here's an amazing one from last week;Our Blue Sky social worker had dropped in for a visit. One of our own children happened to be at our house returning the lawn mower, plus there were two foster children home from school, one of whom was Alicia, who's transitioning.Our social worker is brilliant...
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
ABBA V TAYLOR SWIFT
Nathan is a good lad, been here nearly two years.He's grown, but because 'growing up' is gradual and difficult to measure when you see the child every day, it's good to have a Blue Sky social worker visit you and go over progress.My social worker showed up earlier this week and honsetly, I couldn't do it without her. Mind, she says I could, but then she would would she?She arrived at 3.30pm,...