ABBA V TAYLOR SWIFT

 Nathan is a good lad, been here nearly two years.

He's grown, but because 'growing up' is gradual and difficult to measure when you see the child every day, it's good to have a Blue Sky social worker visit you and go over progress.

My social worker showed up earlier this week and honsetly, I couldn't do it without her. Mind, she says I could, but then she would would she?

She arrived at 3.30pm, so she could have half an hour with me alone, then Nathan would arrive back from school and she could touch base with him for half an hour.

I told her what was on my mind; a few days back Nathan had said to me in the car;

"When am I going home?"

That question might be the most asked big question that foster carers get from their foster children, and it hurts a little. 

It's only human of us to think; "Look, we give this child a stable home, good food and warmth, a clean bed; and they want to go back to the chaotic home they grew up in; unloved, ill-treated, unfed, freezing, unwashed, and maybe watching and hearing things that would make the blood run cold.

So I mentioned it to my social worker.

She replied; "I know!" Then she added "It's weird. People are drawn back to the life they know."

Then she asked; "Did you talk to Nathan about it?"

I said I did. I said that I reminded Nathan - he knew anyway - that his parents weren't in a good place. His dad was coming up on trial for assault and his mum, who was the victim of the alleged assault, had fled to Lincolnshire. His brothers and sister were living rough.

My social worker asked why it hurt me that he wanted to go home. She was helping me work with my feelings.

I said a piece of me felt rejected.

Then she said this; (hold onto your hat).

She said:

"I remember, two years ago, not long after Nathan arrived, you told me he'd asked if his family could come and live with you in your home, remember?"

I'd forgotten that. She went on:

"You and I talked about it and realised that Nathan wanted them to come and live with you so they'd learn from you how to be a happy family."

She was correct. She then said:

"What's happening now is that Nathan has learned from you how good parents manage happy families, how familes need leaders who help family members care for each other."

I nodded. Then she dealt a whammy:

"Over the last two years Nathan has learned from you and your family how all that works, and he wants to take it to his chaotic family and do for them what you've done for him".

He wanted to foster his own broken people!

My social worker departed and I started cooking tea. I asked Alexa to play anything by Abba, always a sign I'm happy.

Nathan came down and wondered could we listen to Taylor Swift instead.

He's eight years old, I should have mentioned earlier.

Fostering eh?