When a foster child goes back to their real home, it means a number of things for the foster home.
One stands out.
You now have a spare bedroom, so the excitement begins again.
We're in that boat today, now middle child has returned home.
First up, Blue Sky check out where we're at with our fostering. They do this with all their foster parents who have a room available. They need to verify that the family in the foster home are ready willing and able to take a new child, and if so what sort of profile would be best for all concerned.
Would we prefer an infant or an older child? Are there any specific features of a potential placement that we would be uncomfortable with?
I usually reply "Try us, send us the child's details, the worst we can do is say "No thanks."
We haven't said "No thanks" yet.
In our way of fostering all children are challenges with the potential to be immensely rewarding, and it's our job to help them feel rewarded and rewarding, and to get them to reward us with their progress through a difficult childhood.
When asked about the profile of our next child I sometimes joke with our Social Worker; "Oh, any of the Sound Of Music children would be okay." and we break into a quick burst of "The hills are alive…".
Then return to the real world.
Fostering desperately needs more Carers. Everyone who fosters should see themselves as in recruitment.
I've got someone nibbling at the hook right now, an old acquantance I hadn't spoken to for donkeys, who got in touch out of the blue. She said she merely wanted to 'catch up', but quickly raised that she'd heard from a mutual friend that I fostered.
She asked; "How are you finding it?"
It's a hard question to answer in ten seconds; I knew she wanted her first inquiry to sound matter-of-fact and off-the-cuff. But she was deffo interested in learning if fostering was for her.
I replied; "Well I first got approval around the time Duran Duran were the number one band. So if I can stick it out that long, there must be something in it."
The chat meandered elsewhere, but I was pretty sure she'd been Googling "Fostering", and I'm also pretty sure the topic will come up again between us, but it's important I don't get pushy.
Why foster? For me, it's the best thing I've done for literally countless reasons. Those reasons range from the endless highs you get when children say things such as "Can my family come and stay with you to learn what it's like to be a proper family?" to the highs you get when a child that's arrived in turmoil finally settles one afternoon after school with a bag of Hula Hoops and a bottle of Ribena, sucking their thumb while cuddling the dog on the utility room sofa watching a superhero cartoon on a knackered TV with a look of peace all over them.
Fostering helps pay the bills. Foster parents receive an allowance for each night the child is with them. It covers the bills (the child's clothes, food, transport and other) but still leaves a substantial amount to help the foster parents maintain their home and family. Plus (not to sound mercenary) the Tax people treat the income in a special way such that we retain the lion's share.
I'm not saying people should consider fostering for the money, but we all have to eat and mend the roof.
Short story long; we had our Annual Review with Blue Sky yesterday. Goodness, Blue Sky leave no stone unturned. Our SW filled in a 10 page questionairre about us and our fostering. We signed it off and it was passed up to an independent Review Officer who read it cover-to-cover, then we all got together for a video conference that lasted best part of two hours.
We passed. No recommendations!
Actually it was very enjoyable, very therauputic. In my experience of the workplace from the past you rarely recieved a quality interface on how you are in your job, what's working, what could be even better. But that's what the Annual Review is.
The Annual Review usually ends with the Review Officer inquiring "What's next for you in fostering?"
Which translates as "Please keep going!"
To which we replied "We're thinking of asking for a Parent and Child placement…"
In many ways, one of the biggies.
I'll keep you posted...
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