"YOU"D BE A GOOD FOSTER MUM"

 Not long, as I write, before the end of the long summer school holidays here in the UK.

The TV commercials for school equipment, which used to depress my kids, don't depress children any more.

Why? Because kids don't watch that type of TV!

There are no "Back to school soon!" commercials on Disney.

And The Lion King is funny, heartwarming, and intelligent.

And…

…yes I let my foster kids watch TV in the daytime during summer holidays. 

The key word is "holiday".

The children are having a holiday from school. Schooldays are hard work for them, they've earned some R and R.

People often think that foster parents are drilled into running back-to-back wellbeing activities with their foster children. Not the case. The day-to-day running of a home means that sometimes you let them veg out.

Our home is their home and it's more imprtant than trips to the museum or the archeological dig.

I talked about the holidays with the mum on the till in my supermarket.  I asked her how she was. She replied;

"Only another week to school going back."

I got her point.

I asked her how many she had. She replied;

"Three. Two six year-old twins and a nine year-old."

How do households where both partners (if there are two..) who have to work handle school summer holidays?

Logistical nightmare.

She asked about mine.

"All pretty much grown up." I replied, adding;

"But we like kids so much we also foster."

The mum behind the till came back with a swerve;

"There's another customer who comes in here who fosters."

See, when you foster, you get reactions like that a lot. People don't know what to say next.

I was at a BBQ a couple of weeks back and got chatting to a slightly pompous retired man who announced he did a lot of charity work. He said he was on the board of the local theatre, and on the board of an organisation that supported orphans from third world countries. He added that it was funded by JK Rowling.

I replied that I had previously fostered an orphan from a third world country. I hoped he might respond by showing interest. That's how conversation works. Instead he went;

"But she hasn't been to any of our meetings yet."

People change the subject.

If only they grasped that fostering is normal. It's not estranged from the real world or mystical or even particularly special. 

You've got a spare bedroom? You lend it to a child who needs it.

End of.

Yes there are things you need to know about, that's how come you get social workers at your back.

And if the kids want to watch The Lion King 27 times during the ludicrously long summer holidays, fair play.

And have I given up on mentioning that I foster?

No. But the moment has to be right, I sensed that the mum behind the till was more interested than she wanted to let on. So I said:

"You'd be a good foster mum"

And left it there.