When a new foster child is on their way to your home for the first time it's natural to try to piece together what sort of child they might be from the information you've been given.
Blue Sky try to get as much background on the child, and get it to their colleagues (us foster parents) asap.
Sometimes the information is on the sparse side. Perhaps the child was taken into emergency care. The Local Authority social workers discovered the case and on their first visit realised they couldn't risk leaving the child in their own home. Rare but it happens.
Sometimes the child's parents are uncooperative.
If the child is young they might not be able to articulate themselves.
I've learned to use every scrap of inoformation, even the stuff that turns out to be off the mark.
Talking to my Blue Sky social worker we realised what a feast of background lurks behind the one and only thing we know for sure about the child.
Their name.
It's said by psychologists that if you want to know what your parents hopes and dreams were for you when you were born, take a look at your own birth certificate.
I dug mine out and went through it with a fine tooth comb. My mum was, like many parents, aspirational for her kids. I gazed down on my 'birthplace' which was a hospital in an uninspiring part of town. My mum changed that location to "St Aubrey's Palace" which was a big house in a park 10 minutes from our house. See what she was doing?
It's similar with the parents of children who get taken into care. Similar but different.
We never see the birth certificates, but we're told the child's name.
And the child's name speaks volumes.
Thing is here, I can't use the real names of children I've had in my care for obvious reasons. But I can quote names and categories that are typical;
1. Slightly unusually spelled names. eg Loren instead of Lauren, Skarlett instead of Scarlet, Berni instead of Bernie.
Parents hope the child will stand out as being not just any old Scarlet, but Skarlett, a special one.
2. Names that are part grand, part pop naff eg Jordan (as in the Bible and the model), Charlie (as in the King/slang for cocaine), Josh (as in Joshua of the Bible and the street term "josh' meaning "you're having a laugh".
Parents hope the child is percieved as having simultaneous gravitas and street cred.
I coulod go on, but you get the gist.
And sometimes I get it hopelessly wrong.
A child was on his way called Harley and naturally I pictured a child of Hell's Angels complete with all the anti-authority that accompanies bikers.
I was wrong. Harley was sweet as pie.
I was tempted to ask if he knew why he was called Harley, but never did.
Most people, if I ask them why they were given their first name, simply shrug and say "I dunno!" then add "I suppose my parents just liked it."
Noooooo!
Go deeper folks!
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