A GOOD DAY AT THE OFFICE

 So. If you saw my previous post you'll know what I'm talking about when I announce…

                                         SHE KEEPS HER BABY.

It was a tense couple of hours in court, a virtual court mind you, Zoom or somesuch. The mother's solicitor arrived at our house bright and breezy an hour in advance, didn't mind that our dog tried to rob her of what she carried into the house "No" she said firmly "That's my court coat". Sure enough it was a cut down black gown, designed to fit in with the gravitas of the proceedings, and add emphasis to her presence. Nice touch.

We had a pow-wow as to which bit of the downstairs would be best for the mother, her baby and the solicitor to appear in, and how it would work using their devices. It was agreed that the mother's phone had a great camera and mic, so she would be on that, the solicitor would be separate, on her tablet. The baby would be present, bouncing in his favourite thing, a sort of static walker with lots of robust toys hinged to it. I guessed the solicitor wanted the court to see the attachment between mother and baby.

I agreed to be on stanbdby in the kitchen in case they needed someone to look after the baby for a bit if he got disgruntled (which he hardly ever does, he's a really happy one). 

And then the moment arrived. They closed the door to their 'courtroom'. The court was in session.

The mother had seemed extraordinarily calm all morning. More equitable than she'd been the last few days as the tension mounted.

It was me who was all over the place with a mixture of hope and dread. I couldn't help but try to rehearse how to console the mother if the court decreed she must hand over her baby. At the same time I knew that if she was confirmed as the baby's mother there was a lot of hard work ahead, because… well because you know how life works, there are always strings attached whenever one gets what one asks for.

And so it turned out.

She keeps her baby.

However…

The court stipulated that the mother is required to work a tick-box list of skills to advance her independence. A parenting assesor will visit in three months time to judge if she's making progress and whether she's getting on quicky enough. Her social worker is drawing up a list of things she has to improve on.

On a practical note; she must 

learn to budget her money 

learn to cook for herself without relying on her foster parents to amuse the baby 

learn to use bus and train because she's too young to drive 

learn to spend less  time on her phone trading on Vinted (and all the other marketplace websites)

On a more emotional level she must

learn to recognise and understand more about the baby's needs and how he signals them to her

learn to fret less about dirt and dust (she's ten steps ahead of 'neat and tidy' she's somewhat over-enthusiastic)

learn to process her fears of (to name but three) strangers, insects and the dark - or if she's can't conquer suchlike, learn to disguise the effect they have on her so they don't disturb her baby

The court laid down that if, after three months work she's nearing being an independent parent the Local Authority will get the green light to start looking for a supervised lodging for her. 

If and when that happens we'll say goodbye and good luck to the both of them.

However, after the court gave its verdict, all we heard muttered our way by the professionals was;

"It might take a bit longer than three months".

The joys of fostering continue!