DREADED TEENAGE SLEEPOVER

 In fostering the business of allowing your foster child to have friends stay over can be a headache.

You want them to have fun, to be proud to bring pals to their current home, maybe even a bit proud of their current parents. Or at least, if not exactly proud…not too embarrassed.

First thing, the planned gathering must be cleared by both sets of Social Workers. If you're new to fostering, when I say both sets of Social Workers I'm talking about the broad structure of support we get. Namely, Blue Sky nominate one of their SWs who primarily looks after us foster folk and the Local Authority nominate a SW whose priority is the child. Nice balance there. Obviously there's a lot of overlap. 

But by Jimminy it's great to feel so much expert support.

So, what happened was this;

Last Monday or Tuesday, I can't remember, we were asked by foster child B if they could have a few friends over for a Saturday movie night.  We have a downstairs room with a biggish TV. It doesn't have a door as it's off the kitchen which makes it perfect for them to be private if we go into the living room and shut that door, but if we nip into the kitchen to boil a kettle we can get a bead on the movie party.

At first the guest number was four, then maybe five, then six.

We had the chats with the two SWs and based on the good progress and good behaviour of our foster child it got the green light.

Then came the wrinkles;

"It won't end 'til eleven and Abigail's mum says she's not coming out that late."

"Landro's dad is in Reading with his new girldfriend so Landro would have to get a taxi on his own."

Of course, we all knew exactly where this was heading; the dreaded teenage sleepover.

Certain issues are set in stone; for example there must be no alcohol. But then, if the guests have a nip before they arrive what can you do? Keep your eyes peeled, that's what.

The gender ratio was slightly confusing, by which I mean we let our child meet and greet and we didn't loiter at the door taking names and addresses and DNA.

Long story short, we woke up with 4 teenage guests for Sunday breakfast, they having dozed fully clothed on our sofas and floors.

I'm going to be honest here, I find these events a pressure, even more so than with our own children. There are extra responsibilities. But at some point there's always a huge release from worst case scenario syndrome (pregnancy? drug use? wrong movie?).

That moment of relief came like this.

Our young dog has a good nose. After the last of the party-goers had been picked up on Sunday morning she started worrying at a rubber plant next to the TV.

We investigated.

It was a teddy bear. One we'd never seen before. Brought by one of the guests to shore up their insecurities 

So; there we were all were, geared up to go charging in if we had to break up a hootnanny/shingdig/etc etc.

And one of them brought their teddy bear.

I got another whiff of something I suspect and hope;

This lot of kids coming along are going to be more than alright.