KINSHIP FOSTERING

 We've got a new arrival.

A young person caught in the middle of what newspapers used to call a 'tug of love'.

If only there was a bit more love involved it wouldn't be so heartbreaking.

Here's the story; I have to be sensible about what I say because the privacy and in particular the identities of those involved is paramount.

The child was removed from the real home because major risks had come to light and it was ruled the child was in danger. The adults in the home were drug-dependent alcoholics whose mental health was not only poor, but declining. They resisted medication and counselling, arguing there was nothing wrong with them it was everybody else that was at fault.

Both parents came from families that had chequered records. Both sets of grandparents had criminal pasts, had abused alcohol and been violent.

The child's father had a sister who was more on the straight and narrow even though she'd been through the wringer as a child just like her brother.

When it was announced that the child was being taken into care the sister stepped forward and offered to look after the child.

It's often called Kinship Fostering.

Kinship fostering can have many advantages over bog-standard fostering such as the fact the child knows their new home, the carer knows the child, and it's easier for the child to stay in contact with their real home.

For the volunteer carer there's a crash course in fostering and a fast-tracked approval system which is just as thorough as the normal one. As with all children in foster care, the local authority retains parental responsibility.

But it didn't work out in this case, mainly due to one of the big stumbling blocks to kinship fostering, namely family rivalries.

Blimey, family rivalries are commonplace enough and not confined to families with deprived backgrounds. Ask Buckinham Palace about family rivalries.

The child's social worker told us they did everything they could to fend off the inevitable accusations;

"What makes you lot think she's any better than us?"

"I could tell you things about them that would make your blood go cold."

The warring parties threatened to regress into the exchanges they were familiar with from their childhoods. An arguement would kick off followed by insults and accusations which result in pushing and shoving which ends in a slap then a punch. The result could be a rolling brawl.

Can't risk that happening with an innocent child in the middle.

So the child is with us, until further notice.

It's a placement made trickier by the fact that they've witheld details about us from the child's family, just to be on the safe side. Our social worker hasn't spelled out exactly what their concerns are but it's clear to me that the two embittered families might bury the hatchet and join forces against us professional foster carers;

"What makes them think thjey're any better than us?"

"Bet we could find out things about them that would make your blood…"