THE UNEXPECTED

 In fostering always expect the unexpected.

Even dyed in the wool social workers sometimes say, when we tell them stuff;

"Blimey! Never thought I'd hear that one."

So.

Middle foster child is becoming steady and stable. It's been a long haul, 18 months or so.

The child's parents are career-chaotics. By which I mean they have been in chaos all their adult lives and seem somehow dedicated to the cause. 

Both parents are actively hostile with each other. Both have multiple extra-partner relationships. They aren't subtle about their cheating, quite the opposite. The cheating on their partners is something they want their other half to discover, adding extra layers of heat to the constant hostilities.

How do people live, eat and breathe with such lives? It leaves me almost giddy with imagining what it must be like.

The child's mother, I'll call her Loretta, is from a broken home.

She was born in Plymouth to a single mum who had fallen for a man, a person who we now refer to as a traveller. He is long gone. Loretta's mum came up to see Loretta and participate in a Contact session with my foster child. She is entitled to do this under the rules of Contact, no matter what social workers, me or the child, thinks.

The child's grannie is a sorry sight. Hapless and harsh-voiced she didn't enter the Contact Centre to be with her grandchild until the last minute because she had to finish the last drag on her roll-up.

Hang in with this, the bit I wasn't expecting is coming up.

When the hour of Contact was finished I stood outside the doors as is required and the child came to me. Loretta said her goodbyes and the grandmother lit up another roll-up.

She inhaled and stared in my general direction;

"Useless mother that woman." She boomed. Of her daughter. In earshot of her grandchild.

Stay with me, that's still not the unexpected bit.

Not long afterwards our Bue Sky Social Worker arrived at our house for our monthly catch-up.

"This will surprise you" she said.

"The child's mother has made a request. Her home life is very unsettled, so she's apparently on the brink of moving out which will impact the child's chances of going home."

Oh dear. 

Then this;

"The mother has asked if she can come and live with you."

Ah. 

Not going to happen obviously. A person in their thirties isn't up to be fostered. Not under current rules anyhow.

The day might dawn...

But that request, that's what you call unexpected.

You never get bored when you foster.