Had an interesting fostering day.
PART ONE
Got a call from Blue Sky; "Would I consider taking a child who…?"
On the phone I got a thumbnail of the child.
I said my usual 'definite maybe'. Blue Sky sent the paperwork.
The child is Alicia, previously known as Troy.
No problem so far, although she/he would be my first foster child aiming to transition.
Alicia is 14 and has suffered neglect and abuse.
Alicia had been left to fend for themself in their home since toddlerhood; scrounging food however they could, keeping themselves hidden from the adults who roamed the house day and night.
BTW, I'm not totally sure about referring to Alicia as "they". Blue Sky paid for me to go to a training session on trans people and I picked up some useful pointers. If Alicia joined our family we'd talk to Alicia about how they prefer to present.
Alicia came into care because of an incident at the home.
Some bloke had stormed the house having been locked out. There'd been a ruck. Neighbours called the police and when they went in and saw things they turned it over to Social Services.
Alicia was collected by a local authourity social worker who wrote the profile that got distributed to prospective foster parents.
I was sitting at the kitchen table reading the profile.
Alicia had grown up alongside five or seven siblings (no-one knew for sure) on a run-down estate plagued with anti-social stuff. Commonplace was petty crime, cheap drugs and drink, abuse and bullying, hostilities, sexual misconduct, routine incompetency, negligence of basic responsibilities.
About the same as half of Parliament then? (Stick to the point Secret Foster Carer…)
A new one on me was this one; the notes spoke of; "parasitic behaviour".
Parasitic behaviour; a lifelong dependence on benefits and benefit fraud, live-in 'lovers', in it for what they can sponge, sofa-surfers, pay-day loan junkies, middle-aged adults living with their parents, bread-winners excused of their duties through being in prison.
Most of the people Alicia has grown up around identify as victims, but claim their problems are everyone else's fault.
Clearly Alicia needs confidence and optimism that life is more than a vale of tears.
I called my partner, who agreed. I called Blue Sky's placement team. I said we'd take Alicia, if chosen. They said the jury was still out.
The 'jury' is the team of social workers who have the job of choosing which foster home is best for the child. They often need to make a swift decision, sometimes the child might be sitting outside their office at social services HQ, homeless.
Blue Sky called; Alicia was coming to us.
Cue an excitement that's hard to describe. The hope that one can help a child repair? New beginnings and challenges for your whole family? Not to mention the warmth of being chosen, not a major thing, but nice.
I get all this wonderful fug whenever a new child is on their way.
And…once again; this is my first transitioning placement.
So. Dilemmas.
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