Alicia is arriving at 4.00pm. I've noticed that 4.00pm is a popular time to bring in a new foster child. There are so many subtle things in fostering. If the 4.00pm drop-off is a preferred practice I can only guess as to why it works.
The social workers (one from the local authority - who are overall guardians of the child) plus a Blue Sky social worker (supporting us - the foster parents) usually devote a full hour to the handover.
Then, at somewhere between 5.00pm and 6.00pm, they leave.
And, until you get the first phone call from Blue Sky the next morning to see how things are going…you're on your own.
What will Alicia be like?
Our Blue Sky social worker arrived ahead of the child. They always try to do that, and I'm grateful to have a supporter in place. We supped tea and rattled on about Alicia. We were both equally excited. And trepidacious.
On the dot of 4.00pm a car stopped and parked up at our garden gate.
We watched discretely as the social worker emerged and opened the car back door to let the passenger out. All we could tell from distance is that the child is narrrow in build, neutral clothes, and has a tinge of purple amid a frenzy of dark brown hair.
The social worker goes to the boot and picks up two black bin liners.
Oh dear. If this stuff in bags is Alicia's life it doesn't deserve to be in a bin liner. Blue Sky have a policy on luggage. They did a drive a while back to get people to donate proper suitcases so that children coming into care had that dignity. But to make that happen they need to intercept the child on the child's collection and that didn't happen in Alicia's case.
No worries, there are worse things.
So. Now they're coming up our garden path. I've never quite resolved the question of whether to throw the front door open and give a smiling "Hello!" or wait for them to ring the bell.
Arriving must be frightening for the child.
Luckily our dog helps. She always has a welcome for anyone coming through our front door. Foster children percieve it as a celebration that they've arrived. I give the dog a treat and slip the child a treat and say "Looks like you've got a new friend, she likes these snacky bits."
It gets us through the opening awkwardness.
And it scored with Alicia, who went down on both knees to return our dog's affection.
In fostering you're always on the lookout for little moments that. Nothing huge, just nice little moments.
The four of us; 1) the local authority social worker, 2) my Blue Sky social worker, 3) Alicia and 4) myself, sat down at the kitchen table. I offered tea or water or diet coke as an alternative. I get orders for one green tea, one mug of hot water and a diet coke.
Alicia's nod for a diet coke is another little plus. Hopefully it marks my home out as being up-to-date and, more importantly, well stocked.
Flushed, I popped a saucer of chocolate digestives in the middle.
And got my first discreet look at Alicia.
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