We've just returned from a mini-holiday, all of us.
Five days in a converted barn in lovely countryside about an hour-and-a-half's drive. A just-about-tolerable distance for a convoy of…thirteen people.
Yep, when I say "all of us," I mean our entire extended family. Half of the troupe are blood relatives, the remainder are family through fostering.
Three generations too; healthy.
Two members of our funny old family didn't come. The first no-show was battling mental health issues (as are so many young folk these days, so sad). The second non-attendee…I'll come to in a moment. Might surprise you.
The holiday was fantastic. I wish I could go into detail, but privacy and identities are so important, I'll stick to sweet memories. Do them in reverse order.
5. We all sat down together every evening for a family meal. We took it in turns to cook; quite a challenge for most, not for the young mum who'd worked in catering and breezed it; sticky pork ribs and all the trimmings. But mealtimes weren't just about food; everyone came together at the huge table. There were pair-off conversations - one foster-family member brought a best friend and they sat together and shared witty observations. Mostly the conversation involved everyone along the huge long dining table. Powerful.
4. We saw a deer from the living room window. Next day myself and one of the youngsters went into the forest to try to photograph a deer. The child is family of a foster child, but is not our foster child or blood-family (keep up...). We didn't see deer, but we saw a big dead tree that looked a bit like a bear so we snapped it and came back with a hoax that fooled no-one. Fantastic.
3. "I need to get more chilled", said the friend of a foster child who came along. He was stretched out on the lawn with the mate next to him gazing up at a blue sky. My partner, concerned that the youngster was still feeling jangly said "Is there anything we can do to help." There followed a pause. Then; "No." came the reply. "I was being kind of ironic. What I meant was I've never been this chilled before."
2. The third and fourth nights; 2.00am. The barn conversion was all on the ground floor. Everyone had private rooms off the main living room. Two members of the family-but-not-quite family (as in family of a foster child) had agreed to share a dormitory room with 2 single beds and a bunk bed with their real-life sibling and friend. They were all happy with the idea in principle, but I put my foot down gently and said no, "Two of you has to sleep on the sofas". Foster child and friend got the dormitory, not-quite-family were happy with the sofas. I woke at 2.00am one morning and went for a potter to check on everyone. Foster child was asleep on one sofa, the friend on the other sofa. At breakfast I enquired. Got the answer "Yeah, we thought it was fair to give up the beds 50/50. Actually the sofas are more fun. And we can watch the big screen TV until we go Zeds"
In fostering you're always encouraging growth of kindness. And astuteness...
And at Number One…!
1. The hot tub. So. I'd never been in a hot tub before, I don't think any of our party had. What a wonder they are. Especially when your tub is zero-maintenance because the owners send a couple of nice people every morning to clean it and add the agents needed to make sure it's safe. The hot tub was hot from morning 'til the next morning. People could have slipped in at 4.00am. It could take eight, and was three paces off the living room. It looked out over forests and fields; not a single building or power line in sight. You could lay back, get six nozzles of jets on that aching back and sip a Coke. We'd brought a wireless speaker so we had music too. It was just the right depth for the toddlers. It had flashing lights. The tub stole the show. When we got home one of the group Whats Apped us all that she'd found a hot tub on E Bay going for nothing. I persuaded a gentle swerve. Who'd end up cleaning it? Muggins.
…oh, and I mentioned earlier; who was the other extended family member who couldn't make it?
I kid you not a jot; our Blue Sky social worker (our SW). A person who's become so central and crucial to what we do, is so supportive, encouraging and wonderful company that we credit thnis person with a fat lot of our enjoyable endurance of fostering's ups and downs to this person.
This SW was SO excited about the prospect of our up-coming break it added to our anticipation. SW enthused and invigorated us beyond belief. This is what you can get from a Blue Sky hook-up.
Our SW isn't a one-off. A would-be foster parent, whoever you are, who joins Blue Sky gets a dedicated and professional social worker whose job is to have your back.
Is Blue Sky pivotal to what we do?
Do bears spit in the woods?
( I know it's s**t in the woods, just being diplomatic...
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