RUDDY KEYS, AND FOSTERING

 It's sometimes a bit frustrating having to write up little mini-episodes of "A Day In The Life Of A Foster Mum".

Why, because life - especially fostering life - doesn't happen in neatly boxed-up vignettes, with a beginning, a middle and a neat ending.

I try to make my experiences bite-size because you're busy, I'm busy…who wants War and Peace?

The door keys saga from my last post is a case in point. I wrote up "Close Encounters" about how an older foster child benefited by being given a set of house keys. He then enhanced his bond with me late one night by talking about how he lost them, leading onto him talking about his life and hopes and dreams.

I signed off the triumph with a homily, as if it was over. Never tempt fate…

He and I had chatted into the night and all seemed well.

However, check this out.

We had another set of keys cut, a front door one and a back door one. Put them on a keyring and gave them to him.

Last night he came home and said; "Er..I don't know what happened here but I've lost the front door key. Again."

Sure enough, the back door key was on his keyring, but no Yale-type for the front door. The keyring was a pretty heavy-duty job, the ring was solid.

I had to decide how to react. 

 Fly off the handle? NEVER!

Act disappointed? Well a little bit, but with the emphasis on sympathy.  Must be upsetting for him to have to own up.

I quickly let my curiosity bubble up. "I don't get it," I said with my famous gentle smile "The key was hung on the keyring same as the back door key."

I fell short of saying; "The front door key couldn't fall off. Someone must have worked it off…"

True.

So I let it go. I was looking out for the moment to bring it up again, and while waiting I started to get a picture of events in the park - where he spent most of his leisure time.

That first time it happened, he lost his whole set of keys.

So I reckon this is what happened the afternoon of the first loss.

He'd told his group of friends that he'd been given house keys, all proud and enjoying a bit of one-upmanship. One of his mates, jealous, disputed the keys so our boy got them out, showed them round. Then there was a bit of a melee, at the end of which no-one knew who had the keys, and whoever had the keys felt that he'd won.

No wonder he was distraught when he got home, he'd not only lost a set of keys, one of his gang had bested him.

If only ordinary kids had some inkling of what foster children have been through, they'd (hopefully) rally round.

So. Onto the loss of the second front door key. I reckon this:

He showed up in the park wanting to demonstrate he was still out in front on the house-key stakes. He wanted to rub it in that, although he didn't have a real family, he had a family that trusted him more than the families of his park mates.

One or two of his mates were disbelieving  and asked to see the main key. He took it off the keyring and proudly handed it over. And never saw it again. Same "Jape".

Some friends...

He feels foolish, defeated and diminshed.

Got to pick him up.

So. Go on…what would you do?

I went on Amazon and bought a "screwlock" carabina for his belt loop, and had another key cut. And gave it to him.

Our foster boy - still ahead.

Oh, and don't get me started on our front door security. I gave thought to the fact that our front door keys are out there somewhere. Luckily there's a big second lock which has been on the door since we moved in. We never use it, but it's back in action.

Blimey; a new lock and set of new keys must be £150 and upwards so I'm settling for bolt-locking the door day and night, for the time being.

As for eldest foster child…they hardly ever show it, but I sense he feels even more supported and trusted than ever.

Job well done.

And let that be the end of the housekeys saga.