Our Parent and Child foster placement is going well.
On the whole, very well.
My job consists of many jobs. I believe that sort of thing is called 'nuanced".
So. I'm supervising the safety of an eight month old foster baby who's being mothered by a sixteen year-old foster child.
A court has sat a couple of times to ratify details of the placement and as from a couple of days ago the mother is, like her baby, a foster child under my foster care.
The mother isn't delighted with this decision because a) she doesn't believe she needs to be officially 'in care" and b) because she doesn't much like being officially labelled a "child".
The fact is the court is right. The mother needs looking after by foster care while we also help her learn to look after her child. And at age sixteen she is, as I understand it in law, still a child*.
So, officially, from a couple of days ago, we're fostering two foster children, one of whom is the mother of the other.
The thing I have to keep at the front of my mind now, is that I'm caring for someone who is caring for and parenting someone else, and helping her learn how to parent.
This is a tight rope to walk.
For example, the mother is tired. The baby is a pretty good sleeper, but at the age of sixteen people just want to turn over and go back to sleep. Which she can't, and doesn't. She feeds and soothes the baby back to sleep again. But her sleep's been interrupted.
The mother's tiredness challenges her alertness to watch the baby's every move now he's crawling and pulling himself upright by the bars of the stairgates (we have five in the home at the moment). But she's getting it right all the time, asking me to "mind the baby for ten seconds" if, for example, she has to go to the loo. The mother has taught herself strategies to look after herself, such as when she boils water for bottles she makes herself a cup of tea alongside.
Yesterday morning she was feeding the babyhis breakfast (ain't Weetabix a wonderfood?) when she turned to me and said "He's just started not being so bothered about food."
I replied "Oh…"
And I was about to reassure her that it's normal for a baby to need less food for a period while its body recovers from rapid growth, plus the baby is starting to enjoy watching what's going on around them and be distracted from food.
But before I could say anythinhg the mum said "It's normal for a baby to need less food at some point so their body can rest from all that growing."
I replied "Ah…"
Then she tagged; "Not only that, they kinda, like, start understanding the things that are going on around them and find watching more interesting than eating."
I replied "I see, yes I seem to remember that in my kids."
I left it at that. The mother had presumably done some research and come up with the correct information. I avoided adding stuff to her analysis in order to encourage her to continue finding out independently about parenting.
The question is, can she identify the right websites to go to for information?
Well, you'll like this. She's begun attending a twice weekly tutorial. It's one-on-one with a brilliant tutor. And the mother is loving it. She hasn't been to school much for several years, so you'd think she'd be way behind.
She scored 100% in spelling and 76% on overall assessment.
And there's more.
She took a test to ratify her ability to tell the difference between Fact and Opinion.
And got a whopping 86%
She came home glowing.
I said "Well done. Proud of you. Mind…"
I paused.
"Bang go your chances of getting a job with Donald Trump."
She got it.
She's on her way.
* According to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child and civil legislation in England and Wales, there are no barriers to a child of 16 being entitled to the services and protection of the state (such as being in further education, living independently or a member of the armed forces)." so says GOV.UK
0 comments:
Post a Comment