I'm told there are several categories of foster parents.Actually there are probably thousands, as in everyone is unique, and there are thousands of fostering folk.Not enough fostering folk to deal with the demand sadly, but that's another thing.Each category of foster parents have a lot in common. Resilience, for example. Common sense. Pride in the job.However there are differences that divvy...
Wednesday, December 28, 2022
Wednesday, December 21, 2022
CONTACT - THE TRICKY BIT
A reader contacted the blog a while back to agree that mealtimes, eating, and food in general seem to be pretty much the constant headache with most children coming into care.But I find myself right now enmired in the other big one; Contact.Contact, if you don't know, is a legal requirement. It's a perfectly well-meaning requirement too. It's just SO hard to make it work.And tagged on to...
Wednesday, December 07, 2022
WHAT DO FOSTER KIDS MAKE OF US?
So, gentle reader, how's the housekeeping going?If you're reading this a hundred years from now (that's one of the many strange things about the internet) you'll need reminding that the end of 2022 was the beginning of an austerity that might end up the worst since the depression of a hundred years before.No point going over how come, but it's the reason I'm asking the reader of 2022 how their...
Saturday, December 03, 2022
THE WILD BLUE YONDER
Ok, there's a lot wrong with this country.But there's a lot more that's right with the UK, only it doesn't make the headlines.Take, for example, the way the state cares for looked after children when their time in fostering comes to an end.18 years of age is not grown-up enough to head out and try for a job, accomodation, and all the paraphanalia that amounts to independence.No matter how a...
Sunday, November 20, 2022
THE INSPECTOR CALLS
When caring for a youngster with a standout issue it's easy to forget the whole person.I've found that fostering a young man who is transitioning is demanding, but not so demanding as I would have imagined prior to taking it on.The whole business is inspiring and enlightening.The biggest downside is, and I'm being absolutley honest here; the mountain of paperwordk and bureaucratic hokum that...
Tuesday, November 15, 2022
FOOD PROBLEM SOLVING
The reason food is a big deal for children coming into care is pretty simple.After the basics of air and water, food is the next most important thing.Children of all shapes and sizes are brought into care for all manner of reasons, but there are some common factors.We had a girl stay with us, her father was starting a ten-year prison sentence for what he did to the girl's older sister. The father...
Friday, November 11, 2022
THAT JOHN LEWIS CHRISTMAS AD
Congratulations to the big shops that decided to hold back on the usual Christmas ads featuring vast banquets of luxury food. Not all did, and the ones that went the traditional way have ended up with egg on their face. Or maybe egg nog.This Christmas is going to be an exercise in careful budgeting for millions.We had a tight Christmas one year a while back. Other half had worked for a...
Monday, October 31, 2022
GAMES PEOPLE PLAY
Forgive me, I'm having a bit of a rant. Transitioning from female to male is challenging enough, our newest and eldest foster child is doing it, and he (he chooses to identify as 'he') is a hero. His heroism includes his courage in the face of politicians and newspapers who are whipping up protest about the process, all for their personal gain.Twas ever thus…I'm forever shaking my head about...
Saturday, October 22, 2022
GO FIGURE
Yes, there is quite a bit of paperwork involved in fostering.And yes, fostering folk have to attend quite a lot of training sessions.Home visits by social workers, though always enjoyable, are nevertheless time-consuming and demanding. When I say 'demanding' I guess I mean you have to keep your concentration up for the entire 2 or 3 hours. Yup, they don't show up for a five minute cup of tea,I'm...
Saturday, October 08, 2022
MIND YOUR LANGUAGE
Ok so the complexities of fostering a transitioning child.Try this one.Before you do, can I make one thing crystal clear. I love this work to bits and am uplifted each and every day by the fun and joy of helping these kids on their way.So;He wanted a lift to school, which he didn't need as he has a bus pass, but he gets nervous if the bus driver says or does anything with him he might interpret...
Tuesday, October 04, 2022
IT'S THE MOST COMPLICATED TIME OF THEY YEAR...
In fostering it's never too early to start thinking about Christmas.It's eleven weeks away, but Sky have already got their Christmas Movies channel up and running.We fostering folk have to start thinking about how it's going to work for us because, unless you have the same children as the Christmas before, every Christmas is very different.And Blue Sky have kicked the conversation off with their...
Saturday, September 24, 2022
SURPRISE!
I'm not as pre-occupied with out new child's transitioning as might come across, but it's such a huge new thing for me it's in my mind all the time.But everything else goes on in the fostering world in our house. Some of it like clockwork, most of it not.If there's one thing that fostering brings to a household for which there's no getting round, it's that the normal rhythm of a house is all...
Wednesday, September 21, 2022
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
Much focus in our house at this time remains on the programme of transitioning that our recent arrival is undergoing.In fostering it's a good idea to expect the unexpected, and for sure things keep coming out of the woodwork that are new to me, and frankly new also to the various professionals connected to the child. His school are great; they have a communal bathroom with nothing but cubicles,...
Thursday, September 15, 2022
HANDLING DEATH WITH FOSTER CHILDREN
When you foster you are acting in loco parentis. Looking after someone else's children. Teachers do it all day, but hand the children back to their real parents when the bell goes. We are 24/7.Latin isn't my strong point, but it's a term that stays in my mind partly because the loco bit hints at the crazyness of fully parenting someone else's child, although that's not the intention in this...
Wednesday, August 31, 2022
"SOCIAL WORKER"? MORE LIKE "SUPER PAL"
We've had a change of our Blue Sky social worker, a temporary change, but quite a lengthy one.Maternity and all that! Congratulations to our regular social worker and her partner, and their new baby.I struggle to find words that are adequate to praise the people that Blue Sky send out to help and support us.So; while our regular SW was away we were provided with a new one.A new SW can be a big...
Monday, August 22, 2022
FIRST TRANS PM?
When you foster a child who has a particular issue you tend to get involved in the issue yourself. How could you not?If, say, your child has problems with authority you find yourself examining the authority, how it functions, and whether the child has a point.I'll never forget being summoned to a school to discuss the behaviour of a teenager I was looking after.The meeting was fixed for...
Thursday, August 18, 2022
BROTHERLY LOVE
Our latest new foster child is in an okay place, and okay is great in fostering.Apparently the Buddha said everyone who's ever lived has always had 83 problems apart from the person who tries to get rid of them all.They have 84.Latest addition is transitioning and going along well. It's his decision, his life. Maybe it's a mistake, maybe it isn't. People who get paid for their opinion, such...
Monday, August 08, 2022
YES, WOMEN HAVE TESTOSTERONE TOO
When a new placement (the technical term for a child in care) is settling in it's important to make sure everyone else feels loved and wanted just as much as before, because a new placement (it's such a barren term isn't it?) can take up a disproportionate amount of your attention.The foster mum or dad is busy trying to get handles on the new arrival. Trying to find out who they are, what makes...