Children in care need their phones.
Look, I know all about the potential pitfalls, I've attended more Blue Sky training sessions on IT and mobile phones than you can shake a stick at.
On top of what I've learned I use my own native intelligence to keep our foster children safe.
But; make no mistake. They NEED their phones.
They need them big time.
So as foster parents, working with our Social Workers, we have to find what the professionals call a pathway to what they call best practice.
Gary is eleven, and when he came to us the had his own phone. Younger children sometimes have teddy bears. Older children have phones and skateboards, stereo keyboards and alleged boyfriends in Thailand.
I'll elaborate another time.
Gary had his phone, an oldish one, heavy to look at but it connected him beyond his life to a wider world.
His phone needed topping up, which we paid for, then talked to him about getting a deal that would be cheaper.
Gary was not a talker, you often get this in foster children. One Saturday I asked him;
Me: "We're thinking of upgrading your phone to a deal which would give you more airtime at a lower cost."
Gary; "Whatever".
Me: "Would you be okay to come into town on Saturday and go to a phone shop and see what they can do?"
Gary; "Nah."
The following Monday Gary had a tricky day at school, at 9.30am he was due to be assessed.
Knowing that playtime was 10.30am I pulled a trick I've used plenty of times; I started a mobile phone text dialogue with him. I typed;
Me: "How'd it go?'
Gary typed back; "Better than I thought. The whole thing was sicky, Asked me a bunch of questions which were a piece of p**s, it was sick"
Me; "Sick!?"
Gary; "Yeh.'Sick'
Me; "Sick"
Gary; "FCS… 'sick' means good".
Best chat I ever had with Gary, top kid. OK he spoke using the language of the day, used the tech of the day.
Gary repaired in his time with us. His phone helped.
I loath the grip mobile phones and tablets have on our young people.
ReplyDeleteI fully get why they are essential, but the risks to vulnerable young people are so high.
Bullying, pressure to send “photos”, late nights texting, the ease of access of age inappropriate content, addiction to apps, social media “influencers” etc etc. I loath it all.
We made clear rules for our young people about when (until bedtime) and where (public areas of the house) they could use their phones - which changed slowly as they got older. They hated it at the time, but now understand it. The one is a teacher now, and expresses how grateful she is that we didn’t let her stay up all night texting etc. She hates seeing her primary schools pupils run out of class - not delighted to see their parents, but to grab their phone or tablet, hardly acknowledging the adult.
A necessary evil!
This is such perfect timing for us, thank you! We're looking at getting one of ours a phone for their birthday and I'm to-ing and pro-inf about benefits and risks. They've had their own tablets before but nothing with a sim. The one we're getting it for talks from the moment she wakes to the moment she sleeps though, so the contrast with Gary made me smile 😊
ReplyDeleteMooglet, your thoughts go right to the heart of this one.
ReplyDeleteTry as we might we parents (foster or 'real') are no match for Apple, Tic Tok etc etc etc.
We mustn't be blind to the benefits of mobile phones, there are plenty. I can track one of my brood to within 3 feet anywhere on earth, that ain't bad.
But the downers seem fierce, especially for us people trying to help vulnerable young people.
I guess we simply carry on doing our best; staying on top
Every time they 'upgrade' maybe we have to as well…?
Yeh, I agree L. But know what? It's a parents job to be slightly out of touch, mildly behind the times and disapproving of most things that are new-fangled. The past belongs to us and we need our kids to believe that the older they get the present - and more importantly the future - belongs to them. But we keep out eyes peeled, just as you obviously do. Keep up the great work!
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