KIDS AND SPIDERS

Fostering is wonderful in many ways, but it does make you softer, I think.

You give a bit more to the poor homeless person in the shop doorway, buy a spongee you don't need from the lad who rings your doorbell saying he's just out of remand and trying to go straight.

A while ago we took in a tiny little dog that no-one wanted. She's dying, basically. But we're all comforting her and trying to make her last months here not too bad. Blue Sky waived their normal dog vetting procedures, the little mutt has no teeth left. BS have a heart too.

Our foster kids are, I think, touchen bu this basic humanity.

What happened was this.

I sit at our kitchen table to do the family paperwork. In use a PC and a wee angle poise lamp to light up the keyboard. My laptop keyboard lights itself, but the PC one is an add-on, no back-lights. Sorry, going off on a tangent.

A couple of nights ago  I was doing our accounts spreadsheet (foster carers get preferred rates of income tax, more of that another time, yawn - but good yawn). When I noticed a tiny amber coloured spider hanging from the lamp by a single thread.

When I say tiny, I mean smaller than a pinhead.

Next morning I sat down at the same place, and lo and behold she had spun the most delicate little web between the bottom of the lamp and the top of my mouse mat.

I was intoxicated by her. A web, so delicate, about the size of a palm print, so gossamer it was almost invisible.

One of our foster children (we've 2 at the moment) showed themselves for breakfast.

I said "Look what Elizabeth's done."

Child came in close and muttered "So?"

Fair enough. Children coming into care have so much work to do to care about themselves, they're often not going to care about other people much. Or spiders.

Then he asked; "What do you mean "Elizabeth?"

I said that I'd decided to call her Elizabeth.

This changed things. 

Child came in closer and could see the amazing web. We wondered how the heck she could have done it without the skills of …Spiderman.

He asked what I was going to do about her and I said I was going to look after her.

He went off and made his usual bowl of cereal.

Next morning he came down and asked, as casually as he could fake;

"What's with Elizabeth?"

I replied;

"Not good I'm afraid, one of her strands has come away and the web is much smaller."

Child reacted;

"You need to turn off the light, it gets hot and that's what ruined the web!"

Child might have a point.

So here's my thing.

Tomorrow the spider might have spun another web, in which case me and foster child will have learned something about persevering. 

Or not, in which case the child and me will be reminded that life is hard, often unfair, but it has its moments.

Which is probably what I try to instill into many of our foster kids.

As I sit here looking up from my PC, I see Elizabeth looking.. er at me...I dunno…can spiders be thoughtful?

Kids in care can, for sure.