YOU CAN'T STEAM FISH!

 We've just had a child stay with us for a couple of weeks.  A rare duration for a foster placement in my experience, but his was an unusual story.

We got the call on a Friday afternoon. 

Blue Sky said that the local authority was looking for a short-term foster home for a 14-year-old boy whose foster mother had been rushed to hospital.

The boy had arrived home to discover his foster mum on her bed. The poor woman was in pain, there was blood.

He phoned 999 and she was hospitalised. The paramedics learned that the woman was single and that the boy was her foster son, and that he had no-one else to look after him, and was too young to be left alone. They called social services.

A couple of hours later he arrived at our house.

Nathan.

After tea I sat with Nathan to learn what had happened.

Nathan;

"I've been fostered since I was eight. My dad's on the run. I never knew him. My mum's alright but she can't cope with my brothers and sister. She ended up all over the place. I'm the eldest so I kind of organised things. She got taken to court for a benny bend (benefit fraud) and they found out she was doing bad drugs and letting us look after ourselves. We had a load of social workers turn up. I got taken away and they put me with Maggs."

Maggie is the lady in hospital. 

Maggie, it turns out, is a comparative latecomer to fostering. A retired midwife, a divorcee with no children of her own. Apparently she's a cracking foster mum.

Nathan continued;

"So Friday, I comes home from school and no Maggs. She's always in the kitchen when I come in, cooking. She loves cooking. Every night, a proper dinner. None of your beans on toast or Mackie D. We had roast chicken this week. On a Tuesday! So when I gets in and she's not cooking, there's no pans on the oven or nothing, I'm like 'Hmmm…something's up'."

I was warming to this lad big time.

Nathan continued;

"So I calls out; 'Yo Maggs! Alright mate?'  Then I heard this sort of moan from upstairs, so I runs up and she's in her bedroom, so I asks 'Can I come in mate?' and she goes; 'Yeah'. So I goes in and… I tell you I was shocked. She was half on her bed an' half off, and her leggings had blood on them. Plenty of blood. Blood on the duvet too. My head went 'Jees, she been attacked!' But she hadn't. She went 'Nath love, I've got a problem. I need a doctor.'

He phoned 999 then tended to Maggs until the ambulance arrived. 

He was her rock.

Maggs was in pain, and was groaning. Nathan offered her paracetamol and a cup of tea but she knew not to take anything in case she'd need pre-op meds. Being a former medico she knew.

Nathan told me how he had to pretend to be less upset than he really felt in order to help Maggs be strong. He said he held her hand and told her she was wonderful.

While Nathan was on his way to us, Blue Sky gave us the bigger picture. Maggs had been diagnosed in need of an emergency hysterectomy. The discomfort had been growing for several weeks and they'd tried to tackle it with treatment, medicine and lifestyle changes (Maggs was on the big size, didn't exercise, and had previously been a smoker). She'd lived alone since her divorce, but since fostering had shared her life with Nathan who became her part-carer. Not in a major way. He became a sort of compassionate companion.

Yep. Maggie was caring for a young man who had begun to care for her.

Ain't life sweet sometimes?

Maggs op went well, but she needed to stay in for a minimum of 5 nights. Maybe 8.

On day 10 she told them she was going stir crazy and wanted to go home. Told the hospital they needed the bed. Told them she'd never felt better. She was walking, talking, bathing, using the loo by herself; everything.

There followed some serious conversations about how she'd be cared for. There'd be daily visits from a nurse, she was to take it very easy, stick to her medication, hydrate properly. She was given a diet, and had the option of pre-cooked meals and other essentials delivered. Plus a directory of telephione numbers to call for support.

Then came the crunch question; whether Nathan could go back to be with her.

The question was given massive - and I mean MASSIVE - consideration by all parties. I was included. So was Nathan.

The local authority decided to return Nathan to Maggs on her return home. He was made up. His local authority social worker collected him from us for him to be there when Maggs arrived. 

I was asked to be on standby to have Nathan again in case Maggs had any sort of setback, but as one social worker put it "Maggs is a tough cookie. Plus she's medical herself and won't take any chances as long as she's responsible for Nathen. Mind, there's no way she's going to have microwave meals in the house, so Nathan might have to learn to cook…"

It's been nearly a week and we've heard nothing, so everything's fine.

I'll never forget Nathan's guffaws when I showed him the diet sheet that Maggs would be on, and the meals he'd have to learn to cook under Maggs supervision. He went;

"Steamed fish? STEAMED fish? How d'yer STEAM fish? The batter'll fall off. It'll go manky."

I started to explain that he'd be steaming fillets of raw fish, and he laughed and said;

"Know what I love about you mate, you're such an easy wind-up."

Nathan is, as I said 14 years old technically. But thanks to his resilience, and Maggs care, and fostering, he's got a fantastic grown-up heart and mind.

Fostering isn't necessarily a fall-back for kids, often it's a springboard.

If you know where to look, it's often a springboard for us foster parents.